I'll get you my pretty - and your little dog too!

Sometimes I think that after I leave the office every afternoon - some days earlier than others I'll admit - little creatures come along and put up a flashing neon sign that says: Problems Solved While You Wait - No Request Too Bizarre. Then they sneak back and take it down before I get here in the morning and hide and watch while every weirdo from miles around just seems to happen along and ask for help with all manner of strange requests. These creatures - probably winged monkeys of some ilk - are laughing me as I type this, lurking to see what oddity today will bring. Don't get me wrong - I don't mind helping people at all. I just don't suffer fools gladly and it seems that lately I've seen more than my share of fools walk through the door. One of the strangest of late is the psychic who wanted me to help her figure out how to track her husband's whereabouts with the GPS on his phone. Honestly, if you're really a psychic, what do you need with a GPS? I have normal clients, thank goodness and all they want is bookkeeping or their taxes done, but once in a while even the seemingly normal clients wig out. Like the guy who thinks he deserves additional tax credits, stimulus payments, you name it for being a disabled veteran. After two tax years I am still unable to convince him that he is only eligible for the same things that every other taxpayer is eligible for - that only his disability pension is non-taxable. He's one of those people who listen to all of the "tax experts" who give out erroneous advice to anyone who will listen from January 1 through April 15 every year. I try to dissuade people of bizarre notions like being able to claim an unborn fetus as a dependent or filing jointly with their girlfriend - and when all else fails I suggest that they request Publication 17 from the IRS and read all about taxes in plain, amazingly easy to understand English - imagine the IRS publishing a document like that! Uh-oh - there's the door now...