Oh, modem, where route thou?

This spot on my desk - this valuable real estate, considering my penchant for stuff - is finally empty.  For the past year and a half, it's been home to the cable modem and VOIP box for my phone and internet, much to my chagrin.  When I first moved my office home, Tom & Al did a great job of arranging the desks into a workable work station and hooked up my computer and all the peripherals.  A couple of days later, the cable phone guy came and messed it all up - leaving both big boxes on the desk and a mass of cable everywhere.  Well, today my client Dean (who just became the father of triplets, by the way) came to my rescue, tidied up the wire mess and installed my wireless modem so I could put my netbook to use.

Now everything is under the desk, on a wire shelf over the UPS, out of the way but close enough for me to reach if I have to reset anything.  I am beyond thrilled - you can see it doesn't take much to make me happy!  Of course, now I have to dust the desk and tidy my workspace up - but I am so pleased with the results.  Thank you, Dean, for getting rid of the cable eyesore that greeted clients when they sat down in front of my desk.  I really appreciate your help!

Just in case...

you were considering ever eating a pastry with powdered sugar on it anywhere in the vicinity of your keyboard, it's not a great idea.  As you can see here.  But the raspberry filled doughnut holes from Publix were great.

And yes, Aggie, that's lunch.

We are in the 21st century now...

So here I am in the living room, in my usual reading spot with my feet on the ottoman – typing on my new HP netbook.  Odd that I would buy a netbook, in that my goal is to not be on the internet with it – but rather to be able to write from the comfort of my evening spot with Aggie and Pete snuggled up next to me.  I love this thing!  For a tiny computer, it has a nearly full-sized keyboard which is great.  The price wasn’t bad and it’s red!  I can use a flash drive to copy my work and transfer it to my desktop computer for editing and printing – I am beyond thrilled with my splurge.  I have to say I wasn’t even tempted by iPads or tablet PCs.  I had a laptop once a long time ago; I don’t even remember what kind it was, but it had a small keyboard and a trackball mouse that I could never get the hang of.  I ended up giving it to Tim and I got a new Compaq all-in-one desktop model that was something like a Mac.  As I recall, my mom ended up with that one and Tim got me a strawberry pink iMac, which I loved and he hated.  Of course, he now has an iPad that he is completely enthralled with.  Technology changes so fast – I am aware that my Dell that was the server at my office is completely outdated, but I don’t look forward to replacing it any time soon.  I don’t even have a wireless network because of security concerns – I take the protection of my client data very seriously.  Another reason I got this netbook – I can’t even log onto my own internet connection!  Aggie isn’t even remotely concerned with what I’m doing; Peter sniffed at the screen a bit and then curled up by my feet.  It seems that my associates approve.  Everything is right with my little world.

I love technology!

Yes, I know.  I complain sometimes, but I am so thankful for scanning and digital storage.  I have lots of paper after a tax season and nowhere to put it.  I started scanning back in 2007 when I started my own business and I kept up with it quite nicely - you know what they say: it's easier to keep up than catch up.  Well, I scanned everything.  Receipts, correspondence, you name it - it's on my hard drive in a PDF format and easy to find.  This system was working quite well until my network went haywire in the spring of 2010 and I couldn't scan anything to my PC over the network.  The person responsible for setting up the network was no longer on the scene and I had no clue how to fix it.  Eventually, I connected the printer to my computer with a USB cable and I had limited scanning ability, but it was very cumbersome.  And so the client files that needed to be scanned went into a box and ended up under my desk here at home after the move and the procrastinator in me just ignored it.

The annual tax jinx took out the Dell multi-function printer permanently and I was thrilled to replace it with my amazing new HP all-in-one.  I absolutely love the scanner and the scanning software.  It makes scanning client files a snap - and I kept up with my scanning every day during this past tax season for tax year 2010.  I kept looking at the box under my desk - and stubbing my toe on it - but it finally saw the light of day this morning.

This is what I've scanned so far - in the space of about two hours.  Scanned, saved and filed neatly away in my digital filing cabinet.  Can you tell I love this?

And I have this much more to go.  I am determined to finish scanning all of tax year 2009 today so I can back up my computer tonight.  Then I can shred and dispose of all this paper tomorrow.  It's a plan!

The tax season jinx...

struck once again this year.  Last year it was my internet connection gone crazy - I had to disconnect my wireless network and connect directly to the router to be able to transmit tax returns.  Not a big deal - and I have come to appreciate the added security of a direct connection rather than a hackable wireless connection - but it was trying at the time, since I am not computer hardware savvy in the least.  This year: my all-in-one printer/scanner/fax.  I am not a big fan of those all-in-one contraptions, but this laser printer from Dell held up very well during nearly four years of continuous use, so I can't complain.  The fuser was going and the noise that emanated from the thing was horrific - and it would cost almost as much to replace the fuser as it would to buy a new printer, so I'm sure you can see where I am going with this.  And there's Aggie protecting Mom from the big, bad printer box.

Here's where I confess my lifelong love of HP printers - their durability, ease of use and long-lasting toner cartridges.  This is not a paid advertisement - if you've ever owned one, you know what I mean.  So, for a little more than the price of a new fuser for the dying Dell, I got a color laser printer/scanner/fax from Staples.  Ordered it one day; it was delivered the next.  The price was the same at all the big stores - but Staples had one in stock.  Al came to my rescue by taking time out of his busy day to come unpack it and set it up for me; Jonathan cheerfully hauled the old printer and the box away.  I love my friends!  We printed a test page and voila!  Beautiful quality - and no grinding noise!

An hour or so later, one of my clients sent me a fax - that worked.  Good to know.  And then I decided to scan the day's work.  Or tried.  And tried.  Again.  Apparently, you can't just hook an all-in-one machine up and be good to go.  Well, if you just want to print and fax, sure - but not if you plan to scan.  After a half dozen false starts, I finally consulted the installation instructions and found that it is recommended that one install the scanner software prior to connecting the unit via its USB cable.  Once I worked through that little obstacle, everything worked just fine.  The scanner is much faster, more efficient and way more user-friendly than the Dell ever was - so the little installation glitch has fast faded from my memory.  Mr. Hewlett and Mr. Packard have greatly simplified my daily work-scanning ritual - it doesn't take much to make me happy!

So yesterday...

there's this big boom and suddenly I have no power, save the UPS running my computer.  And UPS - or uninterruptible power source - is a laugh; it runs just long enough for me to shut the computer down.  That was about 1:15 - right after my friend Jill left.  We were going to have lunch out (s signature summer salad from Crispers was calling my name!) but then I decided I hadn't ought to leave in case someone called for an appointment or came by.  Hmmph.  Shoulda gone to lunch - we were without power until about seven.  Since I have a VOIP phone - no phone, no computer, no nothing!  We must have had a squirrel with a death wish in the neighborhood because they had to replace the transformer just behind us.  Aggie had a good time watching the guys from FPL and I started re-reading Tess of the d'Urbervilles.  Okay, okay - we also had a nap.   I mean, who wouldn't?  I did fix dinner and do some meaningful work after we were electrified again, so it wasn't a totally unproductive day.  No technology is a good thing once in a while, don't you think?

A new year and new...

calendar backgrounds for your computer desktop!  Okay - I'll admit that I am a sucker for a new calendar - and a pretty free calendar is even better!  I found these free downloads at Home Made Simple - the same place I found the Ten Goals for 2010 last year.  The design is sort of a departure for me - I mean, it's not even remotely Mary Engelbreit-ish - but I like it.  The Home Made Simple website also has lots of other great stuff - recipes, decorating and organizing ideas, product reviews - it's definitely worth checking out.  I am still on the lookout for a half-price Mary Engelbreit page-a-day calendar for this year; I haven't had one in forever, but I am not willing to pay full price for one.  I keep checking Amazon and eBay because it's dangerous for me to actually go into a bookstore.  Way too tempting - even when I don't have any extra money.  I mean, who needs to eat?  It seems that both Target and WalMart didn't have many calendars this year - and I saw no ME calendars in either store - or I would have had one by now!  For now I'll have to content myself with these cool free desktop calendars...

OneNote 2010...

is one of the coolest things that Microsoft has come out with in a long time.  Of course, I'm just discovering it now and I realize that it's been out since around 2003 - but as usual, I am behind the times.  OneNote is part of the Office 2010 software that my husband gave me when I was having a serious Outlook computer meltdown a couple of months ago - and I love it!  Well, all of Office 2010 - but OneNote in particular.  It's a virtual notebook - sort of like my to-do list composition books on steroids.  I've been using it off and on since I installed the software and I like it more and more every day.  And so - I'm taking a big step here.  I'm going to stop using my old-fashioned write-everything-down composition books and do all of my list-making and note-taking in OneNote beginning tomorrow.  January 1 - a great day for new beginnings and starting new, improved habits.  If I were really making a serious resolution I'd be trying to give up the compulsive list-making and note-taking altogether, but I've resolved to put that off again this year.  Some things never change.

Here's what you need...

when you are installing new software to your computer: extra strength pain reliever for your headache (oh, believe me, you're going to have one), scrap paper to write all of the error messages on, a pen to write the error messages down with, a red pen to correct your errors when writing down the error messages, and most importantly, a phone to call Microsoft.  Oh, and the software.  I was surprised - Tim got me the whole Home & Business version of Office 2010: Word, Excel, PowerPoint, OneNote and Outlook.  So I'm up to date for another ten years or so - after a fashion.  I didn't even get to take advantage of my extra hour of sleep; I was up until three - no, wait - two (but it was really three, wasn't it?) installing the software and trying once again to import my old Outlook pst file.  All I really cared about at this point was the Contacts file - it had too much information in it that I didn't have written down anywhere.  Sound familiar?  Anyhow, I re-ran the utility program again this morning in another vain attempt to fix the old file and managed to salvage the contacts and move them into the new format.  Whew!  Enter the e-mail problem.  That one really had me stumped because my internet connection was working - but Outlook wouldn't connect to the internet so I could get e-mail.  After three hours of futile attempts to fix it myself, I gave in and went to the Microsoft support site and started a chat window for support.  I waited patiently for a couple of minutes and then up popped a reply:  Good afternoon, my name is Pradeep.  How may I help you?  I was seriously glad that this was chat and not a phone call because I am sure Pradeep would have been sorely offended at the snort and hoot of laughter that burst forth.  I am normally quite polite, but this was too much.  Icing on the cake.  A cherry on the whipped cream of my software sundae.  I managed to type Hello.  He asked me some questions about the problem and I replied.  When we ran into a snag setting up a direct connection to his computer, he asked if it would be all right to call me.  My Outsourced-related mirth had subsided by then and I agreed.  Let me tell you, this guy was extremely helpful and he logged into my computer remotely and fixed the whole problem in about fifteen minutes, thank you very much.  I will have to say, without a doubt, that he is the most helpful tech support person I have ever dealt with.  Even better than the Japanese tech support at IBM in Texas - where grep is whole other story for another day.  Now I need a nap.

The saga continues...

as I try once again to restore my damaged and possibly hopelessly lost Outlook pst file.  After using the utility software I got online, my Outlook calendar and email program disappeared completely.  Richard brought me his Office CD so I could re-install it, which I did, and I got Outlook back, but no files.  When I spoke to Tim about my dilemma, he offered to buy me the new Outlook 2010 software that should remedy the problem.  He was on his way to Naples this afternoon, but he has stopped at Best Buy and purchased the software - I just have to meet him at the I-75 exit tonight to pick it up since he needs to get back to Tampa as soon as possible.  I can do that - anything to resolve this computer issue!  And so I have distracted myself today by watching online episodes of NBC's new sitcom Outsourced.  It's apparently based on an independent movie with a similar plot line: Todd has to go to India to run a call center or he's out of a job.  It's pretty amusing - the characters are funny and it's hilarious watching this guy trying to explain why oddball American novelties are funny to the rather uptight call center employees.  As you might expect, Todd has fallen for the very attractive Asha who is in the beginning stages of choosing a husband for her expected arranged marriage.  Todd fills out an application - under the name of Pradeep - and slips his application into the file, in hopes that Asha will realize that Pradeep (Todd) is her soul mate.  Guaranteed to make us wish for a happy ending!  If you haven't watched it and like a good pointless sitcom, check it out - it's sweet and funny - with no redeeming social value.  My kind of TV show.

Still cooking...

my way through solving this computer debacle.  It's no longer just a problem, no sirree.  I am having a major meltdown here from which neither the computer nor I may soon recover.  Gotta keep busy - can't think on an empty stomach...

Pepper Jack Cheesy Mac

2 cups dry elbow macaroni
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
2 cups shredded pepper jack cheese, divided
1 12-oz can evaporated milk
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1 cup broken tortilla chips
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Lightly grease a casserole dish.  Cook macaroni in a large saucepan of salted water for about seven minutes.  Drain and return to saucepan.  Add cheddar cheese, 1 1/2 cups of pepper jack cheese, evaporated milk and black pepper to macaroni.  Stir until combined.  Pour into casserole dish.  Combine the remaining 1/2 cup of pepper jack cheese, tortilla chips and red pepper flakes in a small bowl.  Sprinkle over the top of the casserole and cover with foil.  Bake for 20 minutes.  Uncover and bake for an additional 10 minutes until lightly browned.  Fills the tummy and clears out the sinuses!

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day...

also known as Wednesday - and it's only getting worse.  If that can even possibly happen.  I feel like Alexander from the old Judith Viorst book (thank you, Judith for the blog post title!) - did you ever read it when you were a kid?  Thinking about that book is about the only thing that has kept me from bursting into tears today - and over a computer!  Honestly, I could just puke.  Something somehow ate my Outlook pst file - and now all of my calendar, contacts, tasks and emails are gone.  I have struggled mightily to even find the hidden file where all of the data is stored!  Once I did manage to find the thing - thanks to help from a client's computer nerd buddy - I am unable to repair it because my MS Office installation is lacking the file needed and I don't have the disk - Tim does.  And while I am sure he doesn't have the disk with him, he is also not patient at all with me when providing computer assistance.  He acts like I am the village idiot even though I actually possess an above-average IQ - and well, I admit that he pisses me off a little when he does that.  Consequently, computer support sessions in which both of us participate do not go well.  At all.  I am at the point where I realize that I am going to have to break down and pay for a utility program that specifically scans and repairs my pst file - which, come to find out, is a problem when your file grows to over 2 gigbytes in size, which mine apparently has.  I haven't thrown anything and my computer has not moved from its spot on my desk, so I am at least trying to remain calm.

Trying.  Really trying.

I iz a membir of the CIA...

an for thoz uv yous who dont know, thatz the Cairn Intellajunts Ageinsee.  My mom got aggervated with the puter last night.  She wanted to wach the latess epasoad of Memfis Beet and it wouldnt work.  So she gave up after she cald the puter a bad name and smact the mous thing down.  I think shez jest sick uv bein stuck in the house this week.  So wile she wuz readin a book cald Scents an Scentsabilidy - which I dont get cuz she dont uze her noz noway nohow - not like a dog duz - I got on the puter and fixt it up for her.  It was cuz she dizabulled all the poppups and the TNT shows is poppups.  Thatz all - no big deel.  Wile I wuz at it, I chainjd the glob lay out to three collums and then I put sum mor bee stuf on the glob here.  I thinks itz preddy cyute.  Thats ware the Cairn Intellajunts comes in.  She dont know what all I know.  I has a blak belt in ankul biting and that meens I have a rank uv whippersnapper in the CIA.  See, all this cyuteniss iz a grate disguys.  I am speshally traned in Hoamland Sekuritee.  Nobuddy getz by this cairn, beleev yous me.

I gotta go - we iz havin spugetty for dinner.

 

Glassware 95...

I sometimes hate computers.  I had a nasty little surprise yesterday morning when I sat down at my desk to work - a seriously annoying spyware program called Antivir Solution - which wouldn't let me do anything but buy their anti-spyware software had taken over my PC.  And there was no way I was about to buy anything from anyone who dared invade my computer - so I spent the better part of the day and evening ridding my system of the offending files.  I think the main problem was that when I got rid of the network router and corresponding programs and hardwired my internet connection, I  had no firewall.  After a lot of  swearing, name-calling and general aggravation, I was finally able to get online and download the free anti-virus/anti-spyware software from my internet provider and start scanning my system.  I was still scanning at seven o'clock last night.  So, instead of just sitting and staring at the screen while muttering naughty words under my breath, I got out a box of old photos and fell in.

Which brings me to Glassware 95...

This is my dear old friend, Larry.  I'll have to write a longer story about Larry someday because he was truly an interesting individual.  He passed away a few years ago and I still miss him.  Larry was always good for a laugh and the best part was, Larry could even laugh at himself.  In 1995, Larry was 86, and for a time, he was obsessed with finding out exactly how a computer worked.  I tried to explain it to him, using the analogy of a car and its component parts but the only thing Larry really gleaned from that example was the erroneous belief that Bill Gates had started out as a car mechanic, a story he shared with people quite frequently.  One day he arrived at my office in a complete tizzy.  "I have to ask you something serious," he said as he sat down in his favorite chair with a can of cold Diet Pepsi (much like the photo above).  "What's on your mind?"  I asked, wondering what could possibly be serious at the ripe old age of eighty-six.  He leaned forward and said, "Do you think I need this Glassware 95?"  My mind was a total blank - what could he possibly mean?  Sometimes conversations with Larry started out this way.  "What are you talking about?" I asked, still racking my brain.  "It's all over the TV," he said. "Glassware 95 - get it before it's too late, make a reservation or some damn thing like that.  If you think I need it, tell me and I'll order it today.  The way they're going on about it, it sounds life-threatening if you don't have it."  Then it hit me - Larry meant Windows 95 - the latest and greatest operating system from his good friend and auto mechanic, Bill Gates.  I couldn't help myself - I started to laugh.  It was contagious; Larry started to laugh, too.  When we had calmed down enough to speak, I said, "You mean, Windows 95, Larry."  He looked puzzled.  "Isn't that what I said?"  I shook my head.  "No, honey, you said Glassware 95."  He thought for a moment and then said, "Well, do I need Windows 95?"  I shook my head and replied, "No - it's a computer program and you don't even have a computer."  With that, Larry threw back his head and laughed his signature laugh, normally reserved for only the funniest of punch lines - unbridled mirth with no noise.  And seeing (although not hearing) Larry's joyful laugh, in my book, was funnier than any story he ever told me.

They say wireless is better...

but I am old and not terribly techno-proficient and well, there are just days when I hate the danged internet and everything it attempts to make possible.  My business phone is voice-over IP with my business internet set-up.  I've discovered I can't keep my business phone number if I move my set-up home and get residential service (which is half the price, by the way).  So, I'm moving the business service home, and if I drop my fax line, with the new contract it's $60 cheaper than I'm currently paying, so I guess that's something to be thankful for.  Well, as if in response to my being cheap, getting rid of a seldom-used phone line and scheduling the service move for next week, my VOIP modem died.  Dead. RIP dead.  Graveyard dead.  The service guy had to come out and replace it.  I have also discovered that part of my recent internet difficulties have been my wireless network - the brainchild of my engineer husband.  So, I've bid farewell to wireless once and for all - I've disconnected the router from everything and run one long ethernet cable from my cable modem to my PC.  Voila!  No more difficulties - well, except for the dead VOIP phone thing, but that was a fluke of some kind.  So for the next few days - and when I am finally settled into my home office - we are hard-wired!  No more wireless for me!

Now to start scanning...

Two spent toner cartridges and a network meltdown later, I have this pile of client paperwork to scan for tax year 2009.  I started out so well this year, too.  The first few weeks, I scanned my paperwork at the end of every work day - and then disaster struck - well, not disaster, but certainly inconvenience.  My network scanner refused to work and the papers started to pile up.  Tim finally fixed my network printer and scanner difficulties last weekend when he was in Tampa working on a client project.  Guess what I'll be working on for the next week in between bookkeeping and the odd tax return?

A change of pace...

Time for a blog re-design...  I have this print on the wall by my desk and it always makes me smile.  I've only offended one New Yorker with it - so far.  Aggie and I are serious Mary Engelbreit fans - as if you couldn't tell by now! - and since spring is fast arriving - we've switched to this cherry theme for a while.  Actually, the ME cherry file folder on my desk inspired me to search out a cherry background and banner for our blog.  And actually - I'm really trying to occupy my mind with something other than the search for a different vehicle...

Network meltdown...

You know how a dog or a horse senses when a person is nervous around them and they get skittish?  Well, I have come to the conclusion that computers are the same way.  Only they get skittish when they sense that you are desperate to use them.  Invariably when it is crunch time and I really need the office LAN and the internet, some queer electron runs through the system and we are DOWN!  I guess I am fortunate that Tim, who set up the network to begin with, was still in Tampa tonight and he came down and fixed the problem, although we had to solve the network printer problem by connecting it with a USB cable to my computer, which is the network server.  Tomorrow morning I have to download my 2009 tax software to the other computer because Ariela is coming in to help me with spanish-only clients.  Lord, watch over my temperamental office LAN!

I found...

Tim's old laptop computer on the shelf in the back room at the office and amazingly, it still works! I installed my WordPerfect Office software on it and I am going to take it home with me so I can write at night. Since I had the cable disconnected, I've been reading, doing crosswords and watching an occasional DVD - but I decided that I'd probably get more written on my great American novel if I typed it instead of writing longhand. And, I should probably admit, I installed my Scrabble software on the laptop, too. Aggie and Monty aren't much on playing games - especially Scrabble.

The other night we watched Down With Love, a cute romantic comedy with Renee Zellweger and Ewan McGregor. Of course, I kept thinking Bridget Jones meets young ObiWan Kenobi - but that's just me. It was okay, but I prefer the old Rock Hudson and Doris Day movies. Last night after our gourmet dinner of Eggo waffles with peanut butter, the dogs and I watched Connie and Carla - which was actually quite funny. I mean, how can any movie with drag queens not be funny? I loved To Wong Foo, and while Patrick Swayze and John Leguizamo made great women, Wesley Snipes needs to stick to being a man. Flawless, with Robert DeNiro and Philip Seymour Hoffman, is another great drag queen movie. Funny, great story and definitely worth checking out if you've never seen it. I was also glad that someone finally decided to educate the masses about where the term drag came from: it originated with Shakespeare. If you've seen Shakespeare in Love, or just studied his work, you know that women did not appear in the theatre and all of the parts were played by men. In the stage direction for his work, Shakespeare would note that a character would enter "dressed as girl" and hence the term drag evolved. Just another UBI (useless bit of information), but I was surprised when one of the queens in Connie and Carla explained the term to one of his friends.

I finally got tired of the mess...

and looking at the seldom-used desk across the room, so I thought - hey, I can do a little re-arranging and put that desk to good use in another space in the office as my craft area. So, I moved the "conference" table to the middle of the room where the vacant desk was and moved the desk back to our little meeting area and voila! No more mess - instant craft workshop!

The move also alleviated the craft clutter in the printer area behind my desk - so the office is back to looking like a place of business rather than an overflowing storage unit.

I moved the computer that was on the vacant desk to Tim's empty office. My friend, Richard, came by to hook it back up for me - and crawl around on the floor under the desk with all of the dang cords - and make it look pretty in that office, too! That's Petey the cat's hangout - he comes out to say hello briefly and eats, but he spends most of his time napping inside the computer area of the desk. One of these days I am going to be lucky enough to take his picture while he is eating - but he's just too fast for me!