Churros and losing one's way...

My dear friend Ariela stopped by this morning with a piping hot bag of homemade churros - such a nice surprise and a delicious treat!  She used Paula Deen's recipe with a hint of orange zest and the flavor was excellent.  She said that she made the first batch when the kids were home and Baby ate them as fast as they came out of the fryer.  I can see that - he's a real pill.  I would have been right there with him.  We had a nice visit and a blackened tilapia caesar salad for lunch.  With raspberry vinaigrette - yum!

I know it sounds like I'm food-obsessed - but it's so nice to actually have someone to have a meal with.  Aggie is good company, but not much of a conversationalist over dinner.  And cooking for one and a little dog isn't a whole lot of fun; I end up with a lot of leftovers and by the time I finish them off, I'm sick of whatever it was I made.  I spent four days eating yellow rice last week.

And finally, I think I've really discovered the root of my blue funk of the last several days.  Being upset about my mother-in-law's passing started it, but I realized in looking around my space at home (and the office, to some degree) that I really have lost my way over the past year or so.  Probably longer than that, if I were willing to admit it to myself.  I used to be more together and my home was a real reflection of my creative self - and since moving from my house to the condo, I've never really settled in and made the space my own.  More than once, Ariela and I have talked about how much I miss the way my home used to be; we met after I had essentially given up on trying to be the Martha Stewart magazine-ready version of me.  Part of the problem was that I was living under the assumption that it was merely a stopover on the way to our new home in Pennsylvania, but it's been more than that.  I've stopped doing a lot of the little things I used to do that made me who I am.  I've been remiss in sending birthday cards to family and friends, I have let my sewing and crafting pretty much go by the wayside and I haven't put my personal stamp on my surroundings at all.  Sure, my stuff is there - but I haven't made a point of hanging artwork or making window treatments.  I don't even bake things for people the way I used to.  And I miss those things - I really do.  So I've made myself a list of all those things I want to accomplish over the next couple of weeks - mainly in the time it takes me to get the office moved home.  And the words of a sweet friend encourage me; Ariela simply said, "I will help you." 

And I know she will.