A new career...

I think I am going to start a therapy practice, or at the very least an advice coulmn for love-worn, I mean lovelorn women.  I have a friend (I tend to adopt stray people) who needs to learn that a woman can be complete without a man.  I knew that before I married my husband and I still know it fifteen years later now that he's taken leave of his senses and called it quits.  On second thought, maybe I'm not one to dole out relationship advice...  Anyhow, my friend is a recovering alcoholic.  She's in her mid-forties and has been sober for ten years.  I think that's a wonderful accomplishment and I'm proud of her.  She hasn't, however, learned to make good choices about men.  Number one, she's not willing to date men her own age or older.  Number two, she thinks the only place to meet men is AA.  I've tried to make suggestions about other acceptable places to meet appropriate men, but so far she's not listening.  About three months ago, she started gushing about this guy she'd met (at AA - where else?) and how she wanted me to see him.  "See him?" I said.  "It's not like you want my opinion on a puppy you want to adopt."  She's very superficial when it comes to men - number one on her list of requirements for a man is "hot and sexy."  Therein lies her problem, which I have told her on many occasions.  I mean, when the initial attraction is gone, doesn't she want to have a conversation?  Apparently not.  So for the past several months, all I've heard is about how hot this guy is, how attracted she is to him, he has tattoos and how she just knows that he is the one for her.  By the way, she's 46 and he's 28.  "You're old enough to be that boy's mama," I said to her.  They've been dating: coffee at Starbucks, sunset walks on the beach, a drive-in movie.  But until the other night, she hadn't introduced him to anyone outside AA.  I asked her why she didn't introduce him to her cousin (she lives with him) and she quickly said, "No!  Jack would freak out."  I should have known right then that in her heart that she knew that this guy was wrong for her.  Her cousin is a nice, normal guy about my age and I thought, uh-oh, if Jack wouldn't like this guy...  So what does she do?  She wants me to meet Mr. Wonderful.  I wasn't too enthused, but she's my friend and well, I will have to say that I was curious about just what kind of guy she is terminally attracted to.  So I suggested that we meet at my client Cari's little restaurant.  Safety in the familiar, right?  After all the hype, I'm expecting Brad Pitt or at the very least a Woody Harrelson type (sorry, Woody - you're just not my kind of guy) but I was completely unprepared for the guy who walked through the door and sat down at our table.  Okay, I am sort of a judgmental person and I admit it, but I am not superficial.  I don't care what anyone looks like as long as they are decent, nice, kind, smart or funny.  But this guy - how can I describe him?  Think Aryan Nation white supremacist meets Deliverance.  Black, rotten teeth and all.  Yes,that about sums it up.  And not smart.  At all.  A walk through the ocean of his soul would scarcely get your feet wet.  But was I speechless?  No.  When I am completely freaked out, my mouth runs a mile a minute.  I looked at Cari and got a What the hell? look and a seriously raised eyebrow.  Dinner was interminably long and I couldn't wait to get out of there.  The worst part was when three of Cari's regulars came in to place a take-out order.  You could feel the tension as this guy crossed his arms and glared at these black gentlemen. I was mortified - and even my friend now seemed uncomfortable.  I got Cari's attention and asked for our checks.  Not only did this guy not thank my friend for dinner, he basically just walked out without saying anything at all.  Which was fine by me - I was all talked out by then anyway.  I waited a few minutes, hoping to avoid witnessing a PDA outside the restaurant and then headed for my car.  Before I could unlock the door, my phone rang.  It was my friend.  Yikes!  The moment of truth had arrived.  "What did you think?" she asked.  Does a true friend answer truthfully?  I hesitated and then said, "You do know that those are prison tats, right?"  She was quiet for a minute and then said, "How did you know?"  I guess she really didn't know the difference between artistic ink and a prison tattoo.  I mean, this guy even had a small spade tattooed under his right eye like a teardrop!  If that alone didn't say prison...  She admitted that she could sense everyone in the room staring at this guy; she hadn't really been out in public with him until that evening.  Not that good people don't sometimes end up in prison for stupid mistakes - or that people who've been incarcerated don't turn their lives around - but this guy had attitude and a scary demeanor.  And that whole freaky white supremacist thing.  Scared the crap out of me, that's for sure.