I've been minding my own business...

avoiding persons engaged in public urination - and in voicing my objections thereto - and I've decided that it's time for a little staycation.  Ever have one of those days you feel like you're going to come unglued if just one more person asks you a stupid question?  Or if the phone rings one more time?  I'm there.  And I've been there for about a week.  And I really need to do something about it.  Tomorrow.

Okay, I have a sick sense of humor...

but this is the funniest headline I have seen in a long time:

Man's throat slashed after

objecting to public urination

I'm just saying.

Sophie, the prodigal cat...

has returned.  Thank goodness!  She is one of my babies who moved to Pennsylvania with Tim and then to a farm with the cat lady.  She is one of the last five (along with Wally, Louie, Lucie Bee, Ernie - and of course, my boy Eddie) that have not found new homes.  Well, Ernie had a home with a vet along with his brothers Jake and Toby, but they brought him back because the vet's wife couldn't put up with Ernie's nocturnal howling.  Imagine that!  Sophie is thirteen years old and completely declawed.  She is a beautiful calico with a sweet disposition - but she got scared by a cow that got into their part of the barn and Sophie took off for parts unknown.  She was always scared of Aggie - imagine what she must have thought of a cow!  I was very worried about her - and prayed for days that she would come back.  Well, Tim reported to me yesterday that Sophie had finally returned after the cat lady from the farm coaxed her out from under the neighbor's porch with a can of soft cat food.  She apparently seems none the worse for wear, but I am still very thankful that she has returned unharmed. 

Ray and me...

went for a ride today.  Okay, I know that the grammatically correct version should be Ray and I, but Ray and me just sounded better.  Oh, have I mentioned that I named my car Ray?  I'm trying to like him better - and I think we just haven't really gotten used to each other yet.  When you are accustomed to driving the Ford Motor Company equivalent of a tank, a normal-sized SUV takes a bit of getting used to.  Ray is much smaller, lighter and his engine only has six cylinders.  He doesn't have quite as much get up and go as his predecessor, but we're trying to focus on his good points.  Ray runs, his air conditioner works and I can fill up his tank for a mere $30.  I named him Ray for several reasons - mainly because that's a name I've used a lot over the years.  Remember in Field of Dreams when Kevin Costner's wife yells, "Ray!  Dinner!" and Ray Liotta and the rest of the ghost team mock him?  Well, when Tim used to be holed up in his computer room playing that dang World of Warcraft for hours on end, world without end, amen  (I am not exaggerating) the only way I would get his attention to come out and eat dinner, which by the way was terribly overcooked by the time he would actually stop playing and eat, was to scream "Ray! Dinner!" at the top of my lungs.  Worked every time.  Eventually.  I also, over the years, recognized the startling similarities between my husband and Ray Barone of Everybody Loves Raymond fame.  You know how Ray does his best to avoid actually doing anything other than work and what he wants to do?  Well, he and my husband may have been separated at birth.  So that's reason number two.  And finally, given that all of my previous vehicles have been named Bruce (after Springsteen or Willis, take your pick) I asked my friend Dorene for a suggestion as to what to name this new SUV.  She suggested naming it after her late husband, Ray, who was a dear, dear man who loved God and cairn terriers, in that order.  "He'll work hard for you," she said.  So, Ray Isuzu it is.  He's not terribly speedy, but that's a good thing.  We went to the SuperTarget and he waited patiently in the parking lot while I putzed around in the store for a while.  He didn't complain when I loaded the passenger seat up with soda, paper, envelopes and dog food for Aggie.  He didn't say a word when I crammed my old lady cart into the back seat.  He started right up and we chugged across town toward home and found a nice, shady parking spot right in front of the apartment.  Yes, I think Ray and I are going to get along just fine - as long they don't have me committed when I yell, "Ray! Dinner!" at the gas station fuel pump.

Now to start scanning...

Two spent toner cartridges and a network meltdown later, I have this pile of client paperwork to scan for tax year 2009.  I started out so well this year, too.  The first few weeks, I scanned my paperwork at the end of every work day - and then disaster struck - well, not disaster, but certainly inconvenience.  My network scanner refused to work and the papers started to pile up.  Tim finally fixed my network printer and scanner difficulties last weekend when he was in Tampa working on a client project.  Guess what I'll be working on for the next week in between bookkeeping and the odd tax return?

Still working...

on this year's work of stuff from a restaurant client.  It is a complete disaster!  I know it is not going to be finished on time - but his corporate return has been late since March 15 - well before he even called me, so there's nothing to be done about that.  I told him that if he wants the tax return to be correct, it is going to take more than a couple of days.  Fortunately, I am taking him on as a new bookkeeping and payroll client, so 2010 will not be anything like this mess.  I'm just concentrating on getting through the next day with my established clients - my slackers are straggling in...

For me?

My friend Jill made me this gorgeous card - complete with a bookmark!  It's so pretty, I can't bear to tear the bookmark off the side.  She is a cardmarker extraordinaire - you can check out her work here.  I love it when someone takes the time to make me a special card!

I am not complaining. I am not complaining...

I have been so busy this morning I haven't had time to think.  Or pee, for that matter.  Busy is a good thing, but I am just about wrung out.  It's hot in here - I have the door open and the fan going.  I just took a quick break to eat lunch because I hadn't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon (stupid tooth!) and the phone has finally stopped ringing.  I will never understand procrastinators, I really won't.  There are only two sure things in this life: death and taxes.  And I have come to the conclusion that some people fear taxes more than the Grim Reaper.  Honestly, people - it's just the IRS!

A (painfully brief) word to the wise...

Avoid eating Twizzlers - or any other sticky candy for that matter - when you have a broken molar in dire need of the attention of your dentist.  But that's another (excruciatingly) long story...

Why don't more people barter?

I traded doing taxes for a neck & shoulder massage today.  It was amazing - and I am so relaxed!  Apparently, I was very tense from hunching over my paperwork and computer screen.  At least seven of my clients are massage therapists and I finally took one of them up on a massage.  Bartering is a great thing!

Another library book...

courtesy of my friend Richard.  He'll read a good book and then share before he has to take it back to the local library.  This one, New Tricks, was about a dog - obviously - but it was an excellent mystery.  I mean, I had my suspicions, but there were a lot of red herrings.  The ending was a surprise - and it ended happily ever after for the humans (well, except for the dead ones) and the dogs, so that was fine by me.  Apparently the author has several other dog mysteries out there, so I am going to check them out.  Light reading, but well written and funny!  The main character and his friend compete with one another in song-talking, as they call it - speaking to one another in song lyrics as conversation.  For example, I stayed up late trying to finish the book, but my head grew heavy and my sight grew dim; I had to stop for the night.  You know, song-talking.  Ha!

I'm thankful for my friends...

I think Long thought I was going to expire from the heat yesterday - so he just came in with a fan.  Bless his generous little heart!  My air conditioning is non-existent, but that is a long story for another day...  He got this great fan at WalMart for only $26!  Guess where I am going after work - to get my own!  He says they use the fan to keep the fumes down in the nail salon and he says within five minutes, with the front and back doors open, the place smells great.  I'm enjoying the breeze - it sure makes eighty degrees more bearable!

Alas, only one bottle...

of Blood Orange soda to be found in the Target this morning!  I stopped on the way to work to buy printer paper - not a good thing to run out of during tax season.  I was horrified to find yesterday afternoon that I was opening the last ream!  There was method to my madness, though, when I decided to buy paper at my favorite store - aside from the 750-sheet packages being only $5.49 each - I went on the hunt for the orange soda.  And, I got to admire some of the Liberty of London collection they have right now - the stationery is to die for - but I was good and didn't buy anything but printer paper, soda and on-sale chewy granola bars (for my clients).  I will definitely be watching for the little red sale stickers on the LoL stationery - I had major visions of embellishing them with stamped images and bling...

A balmy Florida day...

As you can see, I have propped the front door open with my trusty flowerpot with the huge fake African violet inside.  It's so nice outside today - not too cool, not too hot - and I wish Florida were like this all the time.  Unfortunately, summer is coming - although I hope that summer is as mild as winter was cold - for a change!  I had a new client this morning who is on her way to work on a horse ranch in Montana - talk about getting paid for something you love to do - she's going to ride horses all day long!

Another great book...

Well, you can't really click to look inside - I copied the image from Amazon.com (click there for the book information) - but this is a wonderful book.  It's a wonderful story about friendship, first love and family.  I've been trying to read new authors instead of sticking to my old favorites (Patricia Cornwell, John Grisham, David Baldacci) and I've read some surprisingly good books.  It's getting me out of the murder mysteries a bit and I have to admit I'm liking just reading fiction for a change.

Even a few chick lit books!

Okay, not to be picky, but I just read the funniest thing.  I've always been a stickler for spelling - and sometimes misspellings are actually pretty hilarious.  I just clicked on this link about spiritually unequal marriage and found this:  The Bible has quite a bit to say about Christians being “unequally yolked”. What does this mean and how big of an issue is it to the church today?  Okay - is this an Easter thing or something about the unfair distribution of easter eggs?  Or did they mean "yoked" as in oxen hitched to a wagon?  I know I shouldn't laugh, but it really tickled my twisted sense of humor.

A nice surprise...

One of my clients just brought me this sweet bouquet of spring flowers!  I love the hot pink mini-carnations and the daisies - and it even has some of my favorite: alstromerias!  It was such a lovely thought; I feel like I'm celebrating Spring.  I had just realized this morning that I forgot to get out any of my Easter things.  I guess it's a little late now for that - I'll just enjoy my pretty bouquet.

Lemonade Makin' Mama...

got me thinking about hymns - and about my favorite, which is Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, written in 1758.  I've always loved the melody and the fact that it lends itself well to being sung a capella.

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,

Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;

Streams of mercy, never ceasing,

Call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet,

Sung by flaming tongues above.

Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,

Mount of Thy redeeming love.

 
I realized that most of my favorites are really what one would classify as American folk hymns.  What's your favorite hymn?

Wonderful reading...

If you like writers who develop characters in the style of Maeve Binchy and you love to cook, then this book is for you.  The writer's style is very similar to Binchy's - mainly the way her characters interact and how their stories become entwined - and it's very lyrically written.  It made me want to put the book down and cook something.  Well, almost.  I had to finish reading the book first.

Resting my mind...

at night after a long day of numbers running around in my head - and I chose to watch the new George Clooney DVD - what was I thinking?  It was funny, but not nearly as funny as I'd hoped and if you don't know what a Jedi is and why it's so funny that Ewan McGregor's character didn't know what a Jedi was, well, it wasn't really very funny at all.  Jeff Bridges, on the other hand, makes a great hippie type, man.  But then, we all knew that from watching The Big Lebowski.  Kevin Spacey is an adequate bad guy.  The sad thing is, the story the movie is based on is probably true.

Hi, I'm Joe Isuzu...

And the winner is a cute little 2002 Isuzu Rodeo Sport.

It runs, has new tires, air-conditioning and it's in great shape.

Best of all, I could afford it.

A change of pace...

Time for a blog re-design...  I have this print on the wall by my desk and it always makes me smile.  I've only offended one New Yorker with it - so far.  Aggie and I are serious Mary Engelbreit fans - as if you couldn't tell by now! - and since spring is fast arriving - we've switched to this cherry theme for a while.  Actually, the ME cherry file folder on my desk inspired me to search out a cherry background and banner for our blog.  And actually - I'm really trying to occupy my mind with something other than the search for a different vehicle...

Ford Expedition - RIP

Well, it's time to say goodbye to an old, faithful friend.  My 1998 Ford Expedition has died an untimely death.  Well, it's grip on life was tenuous at best, but this is certainly not the best time for it to go and take one last, shuddering breath and drop dead on me.  I noticed a funny noise on the way to work yesterday from the bank and by the time I got to the office it had overheated completely and the oil light was flashing.  I had it towed to the garage (thank goodness for AAA!) and they later advised me that the situation was indeed terminal.  The only fix was an engine transplant to the tune of $7,000 - which of course I do not have and do not see any wisdom whatsoever is trying to resucitate a twelve-year-old SUV with almost 200,000 miles on it.  I can't complain - I've had only a few minor problems with it.  I used to climb inside every morning and pat the dashboard while thanking Mr. Ford for starting up yet another day.

Aggie loves going for a ride - and she won't even get to say good-bye.  Cari's boyfriend has a similar model and year Expedition and he wants to buy it for parts.  Time to hunt for a serviceable used vehicle...

Aggie says it had better be sporty enough for her to be seen about town in!

Divine intervention...

I can't remember if I used this graphic before, but if I have - well, it bears repeating.  I am thankful every day for the blessings that God has showered upon me - many of them in time of great need.  Even more when I'm feeling absolutely desperate.  I've been concerned lately about moving my office home in July and how I am going to make enough money every month to just keep going.  Well, yesterday, God sent me yet another opportunity - a tax client who wants me to do something for them on a monthly basis.  And I thought to myself: well, there's the electric bill.  I love how God looks out for the little things in our lives.  That thought has made today's events a little easier; I'm dealing with an unexpected auto repair right now.  I had the oil changed a couple of weeks ago - just routine service, I thought - and have had nothing but trouble since.  Today the SUV overheated terribly and the engine started making a funny noise.  The man from AAA (sounds like The Man from U.N.C.L.E, huh?) just towed it to the nice garage that helped me with my small key problem last fall.  That unexpected repair wasn't nearly as costly as I had imagined (worried!) it would be and I am praying that today's problem is of the same, low-cost variety.  Yes, everything is a blessing in disguise - I just need to keep reminding myself...

Thin mint revenge...

Aggie and I - well, mostly me - ate a whole box of Thin Mints this weekend.   I had gotten them for Tim, along with an extra bottle of blood orange soda because he loves it, for when he was supposed to come and visit us week before last.  He was apparently too busy to drive down from Tampa during the two weeks that he was there, so we decided not to save his treats for him.  It's not like I even know when we will see him again.  I don't know why I let it bother me; it sure doesn't bother him.  All that sugar didn't do anything for my mood, either. 

Yo-yos!

I love the kind that spin on a string, too - but aren't these yo-yo flowers great?  I have an age-old pillow made of flour sack fabric yo-yos that was my grandmother's - it's one of my greatest treasures.  I think that these are the cutest idea I've seen in a while!  Makes me want to stitch some up...

Lost in Austen...

Exactly.  See you tomorrow!

Three things today...

Top o' the mornin' to ye!

We watched Did You Hear About the Morgans? last night.  It was typical Hugh Grant fare - hesitantly funny, I call his demeanor - and the bonus was Sam Elliott as the Wyoming US Marshal who watched over the Morgans in Witness Protection.  Mary Steenburgen was great as his gun-loving wife.

And finally...

Why do we think it's okay to fertilize organic vegetables with cow manure - and mulch our flower beds with nutrient rich materials, but it's somehow unsanitary to let dog poop decompose in our yards?

Irish jokes...

I've received a plethora of emails today with Irish jokes.  Here's the best one:

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

'Just water,' says the priest.

The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'

The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'

Another new flavor...

Pepsi Max with lime - and zero calories.

I had good intentions this weekend - I took my camera home and was going to take pictures of my new place (since I've finally gotten everything put away!) but all I ended up photographing was an ever-wiggling Aggie and this Pepsi on the kitchen counter.  It's actually quite good, for Pepsi.  I'm a Diet Coke diva.

She's faster than digital technology!

And check out this hilarious movie - I watched it twice.  It's a very fast-paced comedy and I missed some of the key points the first time around.  Very neatly-wrapped up ending, too.  And it didn't hurt that Sam Elliott plays a hitman known as The Mormon.  The film festival continues tomorrow with Did You Hear About the Morgans?  - stay tuned...

Is the Bronze Star for bravery?

Well, if it is, then Peter deserves one.  He has ventured up on the desk! 

Of course, I was the only one in the office, but still...

Dapper Derek Dumbass and the lint-laden drainpipe...

Okay - I'll admit that it's my fault that the washer drainpipe was clogged.  I washed two chenille throws that I had no business washing and the lint from said throws was everywhere - it is no small wonder that the washer drain was clogged.  I was truly amazed that the thing didn't blow up.  It was clogged so badly the washer wouldn't even drain - just kept flashing F21 on the front panel.  I wrung the stupid throws out by hand and put them in the dryer where they basically disintegrated into lint and small green fibers.  I promptly bagged what was left of the throws for the trash and had to vacuum out the dryer!  That was Sunday afternoon.  On Monday morning, I promptly called the condo office and put in a maintenance request.  When I had heard nothing as of Wednesday afternoon, I called again.  They promised me that they would see to my washer problem (at this point it's a debacle...) first thing Thursday - today - morning.  Well, at a little after three, the appointed maintenance man, if you could even call him that, knocked on my door.  He was spotlessly clean, immaculately coiffed and jumped to the side like a girl when Aggie tried to greet him in her classic cairn way.  I mentally named him Derek and directed him to the laundry closet.  He was carrying the manual for the washer as he minced across the living room in his polo shirt and pressed khaki shorts.  He became Dapper Derek at that point when I realized he was wearing top-siders and no socks. He proceeded to push buttons and unplug the washing machine, all the while consulting his pristine Sears Kenmore manual.  That's when he became Dapper Derek Dumbass.  There's just something about watching a mere mortal man flounder about helplessly trying to fix something simple that just brings out the snippiness in me.   A snip, my grandmother used to call me.  Well, I couldn't help myself.  "I know what's wrong with it," I said, a bit sarcastically.  He turned and looked at me.  "The drainpipe is clogged.  That's what F21 means."  I added helpfully, "I looked it up online."  He gave me a deer-in-the-headlights look.  "I'll have to go look up how to fix it," he said and started for the door.  There was no way I was letting this guy get away so quickly after having waited almost all day for his arrival - I couldn't afford to waste another day at home during tax season.  "I already know how to fix it," I replied.  "You take off the bottom panel on the front."  He started to speak and I interrupted him.  "There are just three screws."  And then I saw the panic on his face.  He might have to get dirty.  Or ruin his manicure.  Honestly, if you were a prissy guy, would you even take a job as a maintenance man?  When I call for a repairman, I want a dirty, unkempt guy.  I want someone who looks like he's been working.  Not some clean preppy guy whose name probably is Derek.  Just then there was another knock on the door.  "Come in!" I said, hanging on to Aggie's leash.  Thank you, Lord!  It was Sean, the regular dirty maintenance guy who knows everything.  He greeted Aggie with a pat on the head and a "Hey there, varmint."  He and Derek conferred briefly and then Sean went out to get the shop-vac to get the water out of the washing machine and drain the clogged pipe.  After a few minutes of expert maintenance conducted almost single-handedly by the unkempt regular guy, the job was done.  Sean even tightened my doorknob on the way out the door.  It's a pity we can't just contact the right maintenance guy for the job directly, instead of having to put in a request and take our chances with the repairman lottery.  All's well that ends well, I guess.  Now I just have to catch up on the laundry!

Thinking deep, theological thoughts...

A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.

James Russell Lowell

The other day a friend of mine said that she doesn't like the idea of God testing us.  She said that she doesn't think He has time to sit around thinking of things to throw our way with which to test our mettle.  I asked her if she thought God had time to watch over us and send good things our way.  "Well, of course," was her reply.  I asked her why she thought He had time for that but not time to test us.  All I got was a puzzled glance.  She admitted that she just didn't really like the idea of a God who would test our faithfulness.  "I just don't like the word test," she said.  I suggested that maybe God challenges us to make the right choices and in doing so, helps us to become better people.  She decided that she could live with an occasional challenge from above more easily than she could a test.  The whole idea of challenges from God got me thinking about how everything, from little challenges to major hurdles, is really a blessing in disguise - like James Russell Lowell's thoughts about weeds and flowers.  I've made more than my fair share of wrong choices in what were surely tests from God , but I'm learning to make the right choices much more often. 

If I could just kick the habit...

of daily Diet Coke, I'd switch to italian soda.  Same habit, I guess - different flavor.  I love the Archer Farms Blood Orange Soda from Target, but they don't always have it.  I got a bottle the other day ($2.47! - another reason why I haven't made the switch...) and I was just enjoying a refreshing beverage on ice.   Hmph - sounds funnier when David Letterman says it.  Well, I actually think he says adult beverage, in which I very rarely, if ever, indulge.  Okay, everything is funnier when David Letterman says it.  Another small sip - oh yes...  That is just too good for words.

I'm not complaining...

mind you, because it will be hotter than a June bride in a feather bed before we know it,

but is it even going to warm up just a little?  This is Florida, for heaven's sake!

Better with age...

just like Sean Connery, don't you think?  We are having a Sam Elliott film festival at my house right now.  Last night Aggie and I watched Road House for the umpteenth time.  Who could even think Patrick Swayze, may he rest in peace, was even worthy of second look with Sam Elliott around?  The best part of that whole movie was Sam Elliott dancing in the diner with Kelly Lynch.  When she walks away, he's leaning over with that look on his face and says, "That girl has altogether too many brains to have an ass like that."  The quintessential Elliott.  We watched Ghost Rider on Thursday night - I'm not a Nicholas Cage fan, but any movie with Sam Elliott in it, even for a minute, is worth watching.  I've always wondered if he's as nice as he is seriously good-looking - and well, sexy.  It might just be the voice, but he's got that whole silver hair thing going on too.  And the mustache.  And that look.  You know the one.  Sigh.

Serious cuteness...

You know how when you start a new business you have all sorts of ideas - most of which never come to fruition?  Well, I was going to have shirts with my beehive logo on them.  One thing led to another and things didn't start out as well as I had hoped and these lovely shirts languished in my store room for almost two years.  I had all but forgotten about the idea when one of my favorite clients who has a consignment shop told me that she got a new embroidery machine.  The aha! moment arrived at last...  I asked her if she would be interested in doing a beehive logo for me - this was last fall, mind you - and she said to let her play around and see what she could come up with.  When she dropped her tax stuff off last month, I gave her the shirts and I have been waiting with anticipation for the finished product.  And look!  They're here!  Aren't the beehive and bees just the cutest thing?  She had to create the design from several different pictures and digitize it, but I think they look absolutely wonderful.  She said it was a great learning experience; she had always thought that creating her own design would be too hard, but she was proud of the results, too.  It looks great on the purple, doesn't it?

This shirt is actually that sort of pukey-green I like, but it's hard to tell.  Maybe it's more of a sage green.

The pink is very pale - even more so next to the purple.  I think she did a wonderful job - even if I am only going to get to wear them to the office until July.  It's not like I'm going to change my logo after I'm working from home.  And it goes with the Busy Bee Cards theme, too.

Aggie is driving me nuts...

I love my little dog.  Wasn't she the cutest puppy?

Our cat Louie (no tail - sweet boy!) was her first friend.  She would dawdle around outside when she went out to go potty and to get her to go inside, all I had to say was, "Louie's waiting!" and in she'd run.

Most of the cats, like Frodo (el cow-cat grande) here, would just ignore her.

She is always full of surprises.  Actually, I think she likes to have her picture taken.

She also thinks that cairns belong on tables.  She would wait by the door for her dad to come home.  Or maybe it was just to be close to her leash and little LL Bean backpack.  Yes, she would actually carry her treats to Grandma's house in her backpack.  Too cute for words.

But... her allergies are acting up - dry skin from the dry air with the heat on lately, I guess - and she is scratching like mad!  I've given her benadryl and sprayed her with benadryl anti-itch spray to no avail.  I guess we are going to have to go for an allergy shot.  The itch-itch-itch and the follow-up lick-lick-lick is driving me crazy!

Menopause - not for everyone...

Don't they make this look like something you ought to join?  Like the DAR or something?  Kinda makes you want to start an all-girl rock band called The Hot Flashes...