Maybe my sense of humor is out of whack...

but I didn't think that this movie was all that funny.  In fact, parts of it were downright sad.  I will have to say that there are times when it would be absolutely refreshing to say exactly what I am thinking - and there are also times when I am incredibly thankful that people cannot hear what I am thinking.  Case in point - my last client on Friday, who is a study in bitterness.  I've been mulling the whole interminably long hour she was here over and over again and I feel a diatribe on bitterness coming on.  First, however, I will have to introduce the Chihuahua and her dead poodle, Pepito, to you, dear readers.  And I can't even begin to think about them today.  Suffice it to say, La Chihuahua is a long story for another day.  Stay tuned...

Medicinal chili...

My head is so seriously stuffed up I have resorted to medicinal chili to facilitate breathing.  The Zyrtec is just not working its magic today.  Of course, the chili (think liquid fire!) is not helping my sore throat.

Thank goodness it's Friday!

Would someone please tell me...

if Glenn Ford ever played a bad guy - except in The Sacketts?  I finished watching the second DVD of the mini-series last night and I was absolutely gobsmacked that screen legend Glenn Ford, one of my dad's favorite actors, played the bad guy.  Tom Sunday started out so nice on the first disc and then, well, he wasn't really nice at all.  And to think he held a grudge against Tom Selleck, I mean Orrin Sackett - what was he thinking?  It was pretty good as westerns go - and it had Sam Elliott in it - so it was worth watching.

Did you know...

it’s Girl Scout Cookie season? They are everywhere, it seems, hawking their wares and tempting those of us with even the best intentions of not buying any. I confess: leaving Publix the other day, I was lured by the gleaming purple box of Samoas – coconut and chocolate and caramel. They remind of cookies my Grandma used to buy when I was a kid; they were almost the same, but called YumYums. Of course, my grandmother would eat anything that had coconut in it or on it. She loved Mounds and Almond Joy and at Christmas, she would make this horrifically, sickeningly sweet coconut candy which she always colored pink for some inexplicable reason. That didn't stop us - we ate it up like there was no tomorrow. I have her recipe, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to make it in years. I don’t know if it’s the memory or the risk of a cavity…  Sorry I haven’t thought of anything positive to write today, but coconut is positive, don’t you think? And Girl Scouts!

Another great movie...

in the ongoing Gerard Butler film festival!  Last night we watched Law Abiding Citizen - thank you, Netflix!  I'm not a real Jamie Foxx fan, but the movie was excellent - very suspenseful and if you love a good revenge flick, then this movie is for you.  "Vengeance is mine, " saith Clyde Shelton, the protagonist with some seriously sneaky technological know-how.

New shoes!

Yikes!  You can see my ugly white socks - but don't you just love my new pukey-green shoes?  They're those old-lady Easy Spirit slip on walking shoes.  I just love them - ugly but seriously comfortable.  I have worn out a white pair and a pink pair and then I got another white pair last year.  And then, will wonders never cease, I get this shoe catalog with the same style in pukey-green.  Well, they called it lime but we all know what color it really is.  I'm wearing a lime t-shirt - and I should have worn my lime green argyle socks!

Same old Saturday...

I just wanted to get in the car this morning and GO somewhere.  Alas, I had to work; I had three clients scheduled after lunch, so I had to stick around.  Ariela came in and we actually had one spanish-speaking client.  Mostly we chatted and had lunch.  Cari makes a mean tilapia Caesar salad.  After the clients left, Ariela helped me put some stuff in the SUV that I wanted to take home (a table, a silk ginkgo tree and a lamp) and then she followed me home to carry it in the apartment for me.  She's a good girl and I appreciate her.  We also had a good laugh over Baby's latest adventure.  One night last week, Ariela was dead tired and asked Marco, her husband, to watch Baby (he's three) when she decided to go to bed early.  Apparently, no one heard her.  She awoke some time later to the sound of running water and a funny smell.  She found Baby standing in the bathroom, looking into the overflowing toilet and then down at his wet feet.  She immediately enlisted Marco to clean up the mess while she cleaned up Baby.  She kept asking her little boy what he had done and he kept denying any part in the great toilet paper caper.  She ended up spanking him and sending him to bed - and he didn't even complain.  I guess he knew he was in trouble because he covered his head up and went to sleep and stayed in his own bed all night long.  The next morning, he changed his story, admitted that he had stuffed the paper in the toilet and was very remorseful.  Funny how the three-year-old mind works.  She said it was hilarious - but of course, she couldn't laugh and Marco was really steamed about having to clean up the mess.  I adore Baby, but I am very thankful for my four-legged kid who has no idea what toilet paper is or how to flush a toilet.

One of the advantages...

of living alone is not having to cook when you don't feel like it.  Boston Market is about three blocks away from my apartment and they are always cooking, whether they feel like it not.

Working toward the weekend...

I don't usually wish my life away, but I've had a really busy couple of days and I am really looking forward to the weekend.  I'm not doing anything special or going anywhere but home, but I really can't wait until Saturday afternoon...  I want to go home, put on my pajamas, put my feet up, snuggle up with my little dog and read a book.  Or watch a movie.  Or just enjoy the silence.  I am going to wrap myself in the little cocoon of comfort that my apartment is slowly becoming.

I confess...

I'm having a Gerard Butler film festival at my house.  Last night I watched Timeline again.  Aggie slept through it - but I liked it better this time, having actually noticed what a hunky fourteenth century guy Gerard Butler made.  I'm not usually much on anything medieval - weird considering my thing for early British literature - but I'll make an exception here.  I need to revisit my Netflix queue and add more of his films.

Back to the grindstone...

I spent the day at home yesterday - I still felt too bad to drive, much less spend the day at the office.  I didn't really miss much - just a few phone calls and a cancellation.  For some reason, people always think I'm closed on Federal holidays.  I've been doing some catch-up work today and working on the growing pile of tax returns.  My regular here's-my-pile-of-crap clients are starting to come in.  Some of them are pretty organized but most have, well, a pile of crap.  That's okay - I love a puzzle!  Sometimes, I guess because I work alone for the most part, I have a little trouble with concentration, what with the phone ringing and people coming in, but when it finally quiets down by mid-afternoon, I manage to get some work done.  I've been trying not to come in on Sundays because that's my only day at home with Aggie (and the housework and laundry...).  I know that sounds silly, but she's my baby.  I'm also pretty excited about my new client who is willing to barter with me for the enclosure reinforcement I need for the screened patio so Aggie can go out there are watch the squirrels to her heart's content.  She has really been enjoying the new view - and barking less.  I'm happy, too!

So much for Valentine's Day...

I spent the whole day Sunday feeling dizzy and sick and losing what little lunch I had eaten on Saturday.  Aggie took good care of me and we watched movies and napped most of the day.  I guess I'll be cooking the little rib-eye steak I got for our Valentine dinner tonight.  I know, I know, it's meat - but at least it doesn't look like a cow!  Oh, and if you haven't seen the movie, Nim's Island, check it out.  Very family-friendly and a great story.  It has Abigail Breslin, Jodie Foster and Gerard Butler.  Breslin is precocious, Foster is agoraphobic and Butler is dashing.  That's all I can say - watch it!

Down but never out...

You know, I have just got to stop worrying.  I have good days when I think that I will be able to handle all of this business of life and running a business on my own and keep going and then I have days when I feel insecure and doubt my ability to be successful and take care of myself.  And just when I feel like crying and start feeling sorry for myself, God gives one of my existing clients a gentle nudge and they refer a new client to me and things start looking up again.  I need to spend more time looking up myself, I think.

And stop worrying about the future!

Grey Gardens...

Aggie and I watched Grey Gardens last night.  Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange were perfect casting for Big Edie and Little Edie Beale!  If you've never seen the original documentary, by all means watch it before you see the movie version.  I ran across the original one night several years ago while I was channel-surfing and it was like a complete train wreck.  I wanted to change the channel, but I couldn't stop watching.  I was so fascinated that I set the TiVo to record the whole thing.  Of course, I could see how I could become Big Edie the crazy cat lady - it was horrifying! - and the mother/daughter dynamic between the two hit pretty close to home, too.  The new movie version is like watching an enhanced version of the documentary; the protrayals of the Beales are spot-on and the "live action" drama is wonderful.  Jeanne Tripplehorn does a  good job as Jackie Kennedy, who comes to the rescue of her relatives, albeit almost too little, too late.

In the nick of time...

Okay, I'll admit it.  I'm cheap.  I like to say frugal, because it sounds better, but the truth is: I'm cheap.  The first year I was in business, I pondered having client tax folders custom-printed, but that was way too cost-prohibitive for my meager budget.  I had missed the school supply sale at the end of summer, so I was forced to buy folders by the box from the office supply.  Thirty-five cents each!  The next year I got smart and bought them for seven cents each when the school supplies went on sale.  Well, somehow this past fall I missed the big sale.  I bought a hundred folders - all I could put my hands on - for about ten cents each.  And then I ran out of folders the other day. How could that be?  I plan ahead; I'm organized.  I started to panic. I thought I had more in the storage room, but alas - none to be found.  I was able to find discount (read cheap) folders online from a school supply warehouse with free shipping.  They're not extravagant in the least, but they serve the purpose.  One of my new clients said her friend recommended me to her, but the real reason she came in was for the pretty folder.  I guess it takes all kinds...

Black bean soup...

Well, I'm not completely out of the turkey on rye rut, but I did have a big cup of black bean soup for lunch.  With chopped onions and sour cream.  How can something so ugly taste so good?  Of course, the most amazing thing is that while wearing a white shirt, I managed to eat the whole bowl without getting any soup on myself.  Yes, there is a God.

The Ugly Truth and The Great Hot Tamale Caper...

Saturday was supposed to be Spanish-Spoken-Here Saturday at the office.  Ariela and I arrived bright and early and waited.  And waited.  I had several regular clients show up, a few new clients, but not a single client who wanted to prepare their taxes speaking spanish only.  Ariela had called those potential clients who had requested her and told them about our hours for Saturday and urged them to come in.  Nope.  No one.  Nada, as they would have surely said had they appeared.  She was so mad - she hates to sit and do nothing.  We are reconsidering the wisdom of trying to accomodate people who clearly cannot be bothered to come in when she is available.  I guess we're back to having the die-hards contact Ariela directly.  Which brings me to the tamales...  Ariela's neighbor makes homemade tamales and sells them by the dozen.  I ran by Ariela's house after work to drop something off and she gave me a dozen fresh, hot out of the pot tamales for dinner.  I couldn't wait!  Seriously, I couldn't wait.  So I sampled one on the way home - I keep extra sporks from Taco Bell in the glove box.  Hot.  And not just the temperature.  Just then my phone rang; it was Ariela.  She said, "I just tasted the tamales and I said to Marco, 'These are too hot for Dawn.'"  I told her that I had sampled one already, but I was confident that a little sour cream on top would alleviate the heat.  Onward home I drove and to my surprise, there was a parking spot available right in front of my door.  The evening was looking up.  And then, disaster.  As I walked the short distance from my SUV to my door, the bottom dropped out of the bag with the tamales and the foil wrapper, which I had not properly sealed after my in-transit taste test, came open and to my dismay, there were eleven hot tamales on the sidewalk.  Undeterred, I scooped them up and carried the steaming things into the apartment in my hands, trying to hang on to my purse, my keys and my cane.  I'm sure it was quite a sight!  I shooed Aggie back from the door and dropped a tamale.  "No!" I shrieked and picked it up.  I finally made it to the kitchen and deposited the steaming pile of cornhusk-wrapped delights on the counter.  You see, tamales are exempt from the five-second rule: thank Quetzalcoatl (or Whomever) for imparting the wisdom of wrapping tamales in cornhusks to Albert Einstein Tamale.  I quickly unwrapped them all and put them into a sealable container - well except for the ones Aggie and I planned to have for dinner.  They were spicy, but wonderful.  Sour cream and all.

Oh, and about the movie.  It was okay, but a little raunchy for my taste.  It was a typical romantic comedy, but I could have done without all of the innuendo and double entendre.  Gerard Butler is cute, though. 

Network meltdown...

You know how a dog or a horse senses when a person is nervous around them and they get skittish?  Well, I have come to the conclusion that computers are the same way.  Only they get skittish when they sense that you are desperate to use them.  Invariably when it is crunch time and I really need the office LAN and the internet, some queer electron runs through the system and we are DOWN!  I guess I am fortunate that Tim, who set up the network to begin with, was still in Tampa tonight and he came down and fixed the problem, although we had to solve the network printer problem by connecting it with a USB cable to my computer, which is the network server.  Tomorrow morning I have to download my 2009 tax software to the other computer because Ariela is coming in to help me with spanish-only clients.  Lord, watch over my temperamental office LAN!

Charmingly creepy...

Christopher Walken, that is.  He's just so quirky - he can play bad, he can play funny, he can play evil and he's sometimes, well, charming in a creepy sort of way.  The Maiden Heist is very funny - and how could it go wrong with Walken, Morgan Freeman and one of my favorite guys, William H. Macy.  They are all security guards at a museum where each one has his favorite piece of art.  And the new curator has decided to move the exhibit containing all three to Copenhagen.  Do you know how far away Denmark is? they all ask one another.  A plan is hatched and a comedy of artistic proportion ensues.  Worth watching!

I really like The Lonely Maiden portrait that Christopher Walken's character is obsessed with:

He is not a crook...

One of my clients was here the other night with her new boxer puppy (he was huge!) and he was just adorable.  I asked his name.  Her reply: Nixon.  And dang if that dog doesn't look just like our esteemed President Nixon.  Rebecca says her Nixon is not a crook.

Five minutes for myself...

I've been so busy the last couple of days that I haven't had time to even think about anything but taxes.  I just had a brief lull in the chaos that has become my life, so I took five minutes and got out a couple of Valentine decorations.  I love valentines!  I like making them and I especially love vintage valentines with kids on them.  No SpongeBob for me!  When I was a kid, the lacier and flowery-er the better.  I loved those white paper lace doilies, too!  I have this great Stampin' Up stamp set for valentines with kids and hearts - very old-timey looking.  I don't know if I'll get a chance to make any cards before the 14th or not at the rate I'm going.  But I shall not complain!  I put my granola bar giveaway goodies in my Mary Engelbreit mailbox and gave Muffy the job of watching over the supply.  She's a bear of few words, so I hope she'll let me know when I'm running low.  I used to give out Hershey bars to my clients, but the kids went completely nuts for the chocolate and I'm sure their parents had to scrape them off the ceiling when they got home.  No more chocolate - but I am thinking of buying stock in Quaker Oats.  People love these things!

Something new...

If you are anywhere near a Publix, go and buy some Publix Premium Red Velvet ice cream.  I was only mildly disappointed (for about two seconds!) that it wasn't chocolate ice cream, but it's sort of pink like it's got red velvet cake crumbs all through it - and it has big chunks of red velvet cake (more like a brownie chunk), pecans and cream cheese icing swirls.  It is to die for!

Another day...

another dollar...  I shouldn't say that.  It was definitely worth coming in today.

There shall be showers of blessing...

I have been so busy today and I am so thankful for all of the work.  And new clients - and for the old clients who bring them to see me.  When I thought I had lost almost everything last year, including my mind, God was so good to me.  He continues to provide every day.  I am grateful beyond words for the blessings of today, this week, this month...  It looks like 2010 is going to be a lot better than 2009 was!

I love my clients...

Well, most of them anyway.  And no, I'm not writing about food or cooking or eating today.  No, today I am writing about my clients - the reason I really like doing what I do.  I know get exasperated sometimes, but I have come to realize that the majority of my clients are just like a big extended family.  I don't see most of them very often, but when they do come in,  we are glad to see each other and spend time catching up - not just doing taxes.  JW, who sold his furniture repair business to my new friends Tom and Allen, came in with his tax stuff and to tell me about his new antique business that he started since retiring.  We had a nice talk about the joys of being frugal.  Mary was here yesterday with her taxes (and her daughter's stuff) and we chatted for a while, had a good laugh or two and vowed to get together soon.  We met about five years ago when I was working in Sarasota and just clicked.  I had given her a little bag of my Busy Bee cards and she stopped by today and brought me lunch - pasta with clam sauce - because we had talked about being pasta-holics yesterday.  That was so thoughtful of her - and the pasta is delicious.  This morning, Roberto was here to do his 2009 taxes and practice his English.  I heard all about his crazy Cuban landlord's wife and his own equally crazy ex-wife.    Mary says I should re-think not renewing my lease here because so many people stop by and she thinks they'd miss me.  It's like one-stop taxes and therapy...

Be careful what you ask for...

I actually printed out my 2010 Goal forms - so I'm trying to look ahead, be self-sufficient and goal-oriented.  It's only January 27, so I haven't screwed up my New Year's resolution yet.  Ha!  This morning on the way to work, I was doing my daily worry thing, mental hand-wringing and the like, and I prayed, "Lord, I need your help.  Let me be busy today."  And I was!  I had ten customers - two of them new clients!  My friend Dorene keeps reminding me that God will meet our immediate needs - I need to learn to trust in that.

Julie & Julia...

I finally watched the movie.  And I felt the same way I did about the book: leave out the annoying parts about the self-absorbed, not-very-nice Julie Powell and give us a biopic about the wonderful, delightful and ever-interesting Julia Child.  Meryl Streep was fantastic and I absolutely adore Stanley Tucci.  They have a great chemistry (remember The Devil Wears Prada?) and I could watch both of them for hours.  Of course, it didn't make me want to bone a duck, but I am thinking about making a batch of potato leek soup...

Bargain shoppers!

I have the most wonderful cranberry-mandarin candle burning in the office right now.  I also put one in my large candle warmer and now the whole office smells great!  They were an amazing deal at WalMart; I went to buy paper towels and batteries for my camera and I couldn't pass up the candle bargain.  I used to love Yankee Candle jar candles - but I have learned not to love the price!  At WalMart, I got two large jar candles and three small votive candles in glass holders for $10.  They also had hazelnut vanilla, warm apple pie and one other scent I can't remember the name of.  My splurge for the month...

Easier to keep up than catch up...

Well, I've had a pretty productive day.  Not many clients, but I did get a lot done.  I have all but one of my bookkeeping clients' 2009 stuff all ready to do their annual corporate tax returns.  I am pretty pleased with myself on that account, if I do say so myself.  Last year I was struggling to get everything done by March 15th for corporate returns!  I tried to delegate and it didn't go well, so I am back to doing everything myself.  At my old job, some of the ladies used to get mad at me when I ignored their complaints about their workload and told them, "It's easier to keep up than catch up."  But truer words were never spoken; the thing that got me was that four or five ladies in the records department sent their data entry work to one person, who had no trouble keeping up with that workload at all.  So I've gone back to taking my own advice - I'm keeping up instead of struggling to catch up!

And that is all I have to say about that...

Remember the saying: The customer is always right?  Wrong.  Maybe I'm just in a perverse mood today, or it could have something to do with the fact that I do not suffer fools gladly, but I have just made a unilateral executive decision and instituted a new company policy:  I am right until satisfactorily proven wrong by any pain-in-the-ass customer.  Contrary to current popular belief, there is only one correct answer to a simple, one W2 tax return for a single person with no itemized deductions.  It does not matter where you go or who prepares your tax return, the tax tables, standard deductions, personal exemptions and new Making Work Pay credit are all the same.  If my software says you're getting back a paltry $600 (as if $600 isn't a windfall these days!), then so will the software at any other reputable tax preparation firm.  If the software didn't all calculate the same results given the same variables, then it wouldn't be certified by the IRS.  It's as simple as that - yet people who are looking for free money want to argue and refund shop.  I almost lost it today with a particularly annoying fellow, who incidentally was born six years after I graduated from college, who wanted to know how long I'd been doing this and if I was sure about his refund.  He said he was going to go somewhere else and see if he could get more money.  I wished him luck.  And don't let the door smack you in the butt on the way out.  I swear, if he comes back I am telling him to get out and shove his $40 up his bum, buck by buck.  I have a feeling my new client price is going to be short-lived - or will only apply at my discretion for normal people who really need some help.  That's why it doesn't suck being the boss.

I need a massage or an adjustment...

This ME illustration cracked me up.

I woke up this morning with the worst headache!  I thought it would go away by the time I ate lunch, but no such luck.  Every time I move my head, my neck goes snap, snap, snap...  A massage would be nice - or a quick trip to the chiropractor, but alas, I have no relief to keep the office open in my absence, so I'll just listen to the snap, crackle and pop.  It's almost six and I don't expect any clients before seven, so I may just get home in time to watch DVD 1 of Return to Lonesome Dove before I zonk out for the night. I have to get back into the routine of working longer hours - the luxury of summer and fall is over for now.  Like I should actually complain!   Nine returns so far in two days, so that's a good thing, as Martha would say.

It's Pete!

Petey ventured out to see what Mom was doing at the office so late.  I'm surprised because my last client had four kids and he is not enamored of people in general, but young people in particular.  I guess he decided we were really alone and thought he'd have his dinner.

It's finally here!

I've just finished downloading my 2009 tax software and I'm read to be busy as a bee!  I have three clients scheduled for late this afternoon and early evening, so I am finally on my way.  This day sure has been a long time in coming and I will be happy for the work.  I feel like I've been in a big, dark hole and I'm finally digging my way out.  I'm putting a sign in my window:

New Clients

Tax Prep

Just $39.95

Better Than

Turbo Tax!

My friend Long told me where I can get a big banner made for about $95 that he will hang on the side of his van for me.  He parks out by the road with his sign on the other side.  That should drum up some business!

Monday, Monday...

You'd think I was going out of business!  Or moving.

We moved the sofa to make the room look like it was still full - but I think the sofa is lonely for the loveseat, chair and ottoman.  Oh well, it'll just have to get over it.  Moving on Saturday was an adventure - I had the best help!  Heather, Richard, Long, Tom and Allen worked their butts off!  Tom and Allen moved furniture stuff from the office in their truck - three trips - because vandals shot the radiator out of Long's big van.  That poor guy has no luck these days!  The rest of us (mainly them - I loaded boxes and bins with stuff) moved stuff from the old place to the new one.  I hadn't even been in the new apartment yet, since I picked up the keys on Friday afternoon and so I went in the first time when we brought the first load of stuff from the office.  It looked HUGE!  But then, most anything would look huge next to the old place.  Then I went to pack up stuff while the guys moved stuff in for me.  By the time I went back over to the new apartment with Aggie, the frenzied, barking cairn terrier, it didn't look so huge anymore.  But it's so much bigger and more open than where I was.  And quiet!  I can't hear anyone else, thank you, Lord!  We put Aggie in a crate while we were packing and moving and she was not too bad when I was with her, but as soon as I went over the new place to direct traffic and start putting stuff away, you could actually hear her barking her head off.  Heather loaded the crate into the lawn cart and wheeled her over to be with Mom.  Smart move - she quieted right down.  We started about 10:30 and we were finished by 1:30!  Amazing - I am so blessed to have friends that are willing to help me out.  I can't lift much and I am worthless at carrying anything that requires two hands, so they were all a godsend.  I think I'm going to make a big turkey dinner in a week or so and have a party.  I think turkey is something they can all agree on.  And maybe I can get Long's lovely wife Thao to make egg rolls.  Hmmm...  An international thank-you dinner party.

I spent until about midnight Saturday putting the kitchen stuff away.  Decisions, decisions...  So much more cupboard space and counter top room!  I even have my prized set of Mary Engelbreit dishes from storage all washed and in their own cupboard.  My shoulder is killing me from reaching and dragging and trying to arrange the top cupboards and pantry, but it's worth it actually having adequate space again.  I should have gotten the bigger apartment when I first moved, but I foolishly believed it was just a stop-over on the way to our new home in Pennsylvania.  Oh well - live and learn, I guess.  A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, which I know I have said before.  Yesterday, I worked all day on getting the pile of stuff out of the dining room and getting that room in order.  It's coming along - but I need to do some re-arranging in the living room.  Alas, not every gay guy is a decorating guru like the gang on Queer Eye.  I was sitting in the living room last night looking at the straight row of brown furniture along one wall.  Definite man- arrangement, which surprised me because Richard and Long had nothing to do with that - Tom and Allen moved the furniture.  See, I shouldn't stereotype people.  My final frontier is the bedroom, which I am going to finish as soon as I get home.  Heather cleaned the old apartment this morning - by 8:00 am! - so I just have to return the keys by this afternoon.  Then she and her crew came and cleaned the office - which is why it looks to spotless in the photographs above.  Spotless and empty...

The Lady is a Tramp...

Okay, so I'm sitting there last night, minding my own business and reading The Enemy by Lee Child - a great book, by the way - when I hear this noise.  At first I thought Aggie was snoring, as she is sometimes wont to do.  I patted her on the head and she looked up at me with her little pink tongue poking out of her mouth, as if to say, "What'd you wake me up for, Mom?"  Not Aggie - sorry about that, baby girl.  I still heard the noise.  I listened for a little bit longer to determine where the noise was coming from and I realized that it was coming from the other side of the wall behind my sofa - where the back building stairs are.  It was a female voice and it got louder and well, more pornographic.  I looked at the clock on the stove; it was 10:45 pm.  Was I hearing things or could Miss PD and her paramour - he of just how many knocks I am not sure - really be, you know, on the back stairs?  It wasn't my upstairs neighbors on their porch - the sound was coming from the stairs on the other side of my living room wall.  When I went to my door, the sound got louder; this trollop was definitely on the back stairs with Mr. KnockKnock Whomever.  I mean, honestly - have some people no shame?  Or dignity?  Then a hilarious thought hit me: suppose she gets knocked up by Mr. KnockKnock?  Yes, I am definitely glad I am moving on Saturday.

Homemade bread and lunch guests...

This is Spike.  He was three in October.  Okay, his real name is Uriel but I have called him Spike since he was a baby because of his hair.  His mom calls it Mexican hair.  Ariela and Spike brought me warm homemade bread for lunch today!  I should have taken a picture of it before we cut it...  And a picture of Ariela - we were too excited about the bread, I guess.  We got some broccoli corn chowder from Cari's and had a picnic at my desk.  Spike had his lunch bag from day care with him; this kid won't eat a sandwich because he doesn't like mushy bread.  He wants to eat crisp things.  Which is funny, because he would eat his weight, all 42 pounds of it, in beans and fresh corn tortillas.  Ariela says that's his Mexican genes.  She's from Nicaragua and she says the food there is completely different from Mexican food.  Her husband sometimes goes to his mother's house for a Mexican grease fix - she loves to cook and bake and it's not always what Marco thinks they should have for dinner.  Men!  Her latest culinary project has been baking bread and I gave her my dad's recipe for Cottage Bread and that's what she brought me today.  A blast from the past!  I promised to find my dad's yeast roll recipe for her.  She's going to be taking a course next month in pastry and cake making at the local technical school.  As soon as she gets her citizenship, she wants to get a job at Publix in the bakery doing cake decorating. I think she'd be good at it.

The School of (56) Hard Knocks...

The seven-knock guy was back again last night, knocking on Miss Pink Dog's door, although he limited his knocking to five cycles of seven this time.   The girl of his dreams must have been out with the six-knock guy or the eight-knock guy because this time he gave up - after only 35 knocks - and then he stood on the sidewalk outside my lanai to loudly share his misery with someone much more patient and understanding than me via cell phone.  But he's just so incredibly articulate (ha!) that I had to share how the side of the conversation I heard went:

 I've left out all the F-words...

"I can't believe this.  She's not home again."  Silence.
"Yes, I've talked to her.  We've been texting like crazy and then she won't return my calls."  Pause.
"You know what makes me mad?  I mean, you know what makes me really mad?  What makes me mad is this - wait, wait, wait - you know what really makes me mad..."  Foot tapping and pacing back and forth.
"There's only a three year age difference - I'm 27.  You'd expect this from a teenager." Pause.
"Well, she friended me on MySpace and then deleted me.  Then she calls me and tells me she deleted me by accident.  You have to confirm when you delete - she did it on purpose."  Another silence.  He continues to hold forth about the MySpace incident for some time - I got bored and went to the bathroom.

When I came back, he was relating a recent conversation he'd apparently had with Miss PD:

"So I told her, like, blah blah blah, you know."  Pause.
"Then she goes on like blah blah blah blah and I was like whatever."  Long silence.

He actually said blah blah blah - those precise words - maybe the person on the other end of his cell phone has a blah translator or something - or blah blah blah is new slang for something.  I only know yadda yadda yadda, so I was at a loss as to what their conversation was really about.

He finally just walked up the sidewalk, still talking on his phone.  Maybe he was hoping Miss PD would sneak downstairs to see if the coast was clear.  When I move, I don't know if I'm going to miss finding out how this ends or not.  Stay tuned.

It's gone!

The pile of junk from the middle of my office is finally gone.  SOLD!

Aggie's New 'Do...

She finally sat still long enough for me to take her picture after her trip to the groomer's last week.  Her dad gave her $50 for Christmas so she could get her raggedy self trimmed.  She had ripped out so much of her hair and scratched herself silly that she is almost shaved!  At least she's given up on the itching...  For now, anyway.

"That's enough, Mom!  No more photographs!"

Glad it's Monday...

I never thought I'd be happy to see Monday come around.  I stayed home with Aggie all weekend, reading and trying to stay warm.  I finally finished GWTW and then we watched Lonesome Dove.  I've never read the book - I really ought to as I've heard it's quite good.  I just don't want to get hooked on another author!  I watched Comanche Moon when it was on last year and I had a really hard time with the younger versions (weird casting) of the Robert Duvall and Tommy Lee Jones characters.  I've watched LD so many times I've lost track.  It kills me to see Robert Urich be a bad guy, although Jake Spoon really just fell in with the wrong crowd, I mean, Dee Boot's brother and all...  I always wondered if July Johnson got together with Claire Allen and if Newt grew up to marry Claire's daughter, Sally.  And I never could understand why Larry McMurtry killed Joshua Deets off.  As you can see, I've gotten pretty attached to these characters over the years!  I tried to watch Dead Man's Walk but James Garner as the old version of Woodrow Call was terrible and Sissy Spacek as Lorena was completely wrong.  Sam Shepard wasn't a bad Pea Eye Parker, but I was sort of fond of the original guy.  Apparently I missed Return to Lonesome Dove somewhere along the line, so I'm going to put it on my Netflix queue.  So anyway, after we watched LD, I finished reading my stack of Alex Matthews mysteries so I could pass them on to Richard.  I discovered her a few years ago on DorothyL, the mystery writers list, and I won her first five or six books by guessing how many peanut butter cups in a jar - one of the few times I've ever won anything!  They're pretty good - and of course, there's a cat, so what's not to like?  I have one more to read and I'm caught up - trying to clear out my book drawer getting ready to move on Friday.  I'm looking forward to it.

Long movies & books...

I don't know what it is with me: I start out every new year reading long books and watching long movies.  Foolish consistency, I suppose, is the hobgoblin of my little mind.  Part of the ritual is getting myself inspired to write.  GWTW always spurs me on toward greatness, which I somehow always fail to reach, but I am spurred on nonetheless.    The Stand reminds me that a) long books are actually published, 2) long books get made into movies (or a TV mini-series as it were) and d) to quote TS Eliot, "this is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper."  Oh Lord, I am waxing philosophical and quoting The Hollow Men.  I need to do something to get out of this blue funk!

A cooking frenzy...

When I have nothing to do, I cook.  I put a big pot of pea soup (two big bags of dried split peas!) in the crock pot with chicken bouillon, onions and diced ham.  Then I baked two batches of chewy walnut brownies.  I've been handing brownies out to anyone who comes into the office.  The mailman went off with a baggie full - have to keep the regulars happy!

Spenser on DVD...

I've discovered that you can get Spenser: For Hire made-for-TV movies on DVD from Netflix.  I've exhausted their supply of Tom Selleck movies and now I've moved on to Robert Urich, whom I have always suspected was my dad's illegitimate son.  Well, probably not, but they sure looked alike.  I remember the first time I saw him on S.W.A.T. when I was a teenager.  I said, "Daddy, is there something you haven't told us?"  He got a kick out of it and promptly became a Robert Urich fan.  The show always had such great, snappy dialogue and Hawk was a hilarious character.  I think I've read every Robert Parker Spenser novel there is - and the show never failed to measure up to the characters on the page.  I wonder if Parker wrote the scripts?  I've seen two of the movies and I have two more coming.  Any suggestions for next week?

Goals for 2010...

I got a newsletter e-mail from HomeMade Simple today and they had a blurb on Goals for 2010.  Check out the cute Goal Planner here.  My favorite thing about the planner was a spot for the reward.  Does that make me goal-oriented or reward-oriented?  Not that I've made a list of goals yet - I just liked the organizational aspect of the idea.  I guess I'm organization-oriented.

Required annual reading...

Well, it's January and I am about halfway finished reading my first novel of the year.  Yes, it's always Gone With the Wind - the first grown-up book I ever read.  Okay, my first adult book might have been Mistress of Mellyn by Victoria Holt, but I'm fairly sure it was GWTW.  I wish I could say why I love it so much, or why it inspires me to write, but I can't.  It's just a great book.  I actually hate that scheming, ruthless bitch Scarlett, but I adore Mammy and Rhett and Melanie.  I have absolutely no idea whatsoever Scarlett (or Melanie) ever saw in that wimpy Ashley Wilkes and it irks me that the movie left out characters and messed with the timeline, but I still love to visit the world Margaret Mitchell created.