Another movie review or two...

I know - I haven't written about any movies in a while - but I am still getting my near daily fix from Netflix.  It's just that some of them have been stinkers and not worth writing about.  But I have watched a couple of thought-provoking films, so I will do my thing...

Lars and the Real Girl was offbeat - okay, it was weird.  But in a nice way.  Lars lives with his brother and sister-in-law and he's functional, but odd.  He goes to church and to work, but he doesn't really relate to people.  Margo, his work mate, has a crush on him, but he's not interested.  It turns out that he's working through some emotional issues (that's putting it mildly) and he orders an anatomically correct sex doll off the internet.  When Bianca arrives (she's Brazilian, you see), he asks if she can stay in the guest room because she's a missionary and they aren't comfortable being alone together in his garage apartment.  His brother is completely flipped out by the whole thing (since Biana can't walk, she is confined to a wheelchair), but his wife goes along with Lars and they end up taking Bianca (and Lars) to the doctor, who recommends treatment for the ailing Bianca (who oddly enough speaks only to Lars), and asks Lars to keep her company and chat while Bianca rests during the treatment she's prescribed.  If only all therapists were so clever!  Anyhow, the real story is that of a community that comes together to love Lars and help him through his "troubles" - whatever they happen to be.  No one understands, but they are willing to love him anyway.  As a result, Bianca becomes quite popular: she gets a job modeling in the store window, volunteers at the school reading to kids (via recording - she's shy) and is even elected to the School Board - which made me laugh because perhaps all good politicians and public figures should be silent.  Which, in turn, made me think: maybe Clarence Thomas is an anatomically correct sex doll.  But I digress...  Anyhow, the movie has a happy ending, for Lars at least, and it makes you wonder: who is the real girl that the title refers to?  Bianca or Margo?

I love Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson, and they make an odd but believable pair in Last Chance Harvey.  He excels at the sad sack roles he often takes on - but I'm used to Emma Thompson playing a stronger sort of woman.  In fact, she made me think a bit of myself in this film - the way she allowed her mother to run over her constantly.  At any rate, Harvey is a jingle writer who goes to London for his only daughter's wedding, only to find that they rather wish he hadn't.  He goes to the ceremony and has to go back to NYC before the reception.  After several near misses at the beginning of the movie, he finally chats up Kate in the airport lounge and they have lunch and spend the afternoon together walking all over London as he has missed his flight (and lost his job).  She encourages him to attend the reception and he does, taking Kate along with him - and ends up mending fences with his daughter and his ex-wife - even the stepfather.  He and Kate have a tentatively happy ending - but I was left wondering if Harvey's last chance was the reunion with his daughter or the possibility of romance with Kate.    It was good, but it was no Midnight Cowboy. 

Finally, even though I don't particularly like that Shia LeBoeuf kid, at Richard's urging, I watched Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.  Harrison Ford and Indy have aged quite nicely - must be genetic since Sean Connery is Indy's late father.  Alas, no Sean in this film, but no movie is truly perfect.  It's hard to say much about this movie without giving too much of the plot away - but it was almost as good and suspense-filled as Raiders of the Lost Ark, which makes a brief appearance in Hangar 51 (hint, hint) in this film.  Cate Blanchett makes an excellent Russian villain, who was apparently Stalin's top scientist who has an interest in all things paranormal.  I like her anyway because she's so chameleon-like.  She can be beautiful and in another role, she can be homely as a mud fence.  She's very talented; I thought she was Katharine Hepburn in The Aviator, although the rest of the movie was a dud.  And Karen Allen is back as Marion Ravenwood - and Indy is as smitten as ever.  I mean, didn't you just want to be Marion in Raiders of the Lost Ark?  It made me rethink a career in archeology anyway...  She's still feisty and well, I can't say any more about this movie.  If you haven't seen it, rent it.  It's very entertaining!

I'm just not that kind of girl...

who is inclined to deal with a yard sale, I mean.  I often stop at yard sales and sometimes I even buy things (although Tim was the sucker for that) but the thought of hauling all this stuff anywhere to put it on tables and price it and then make about $20 bucks is just not my idea of a great way to spend a Saturday.  Too many books to read, too few weekend afternoons...  Consequently, I've decided to put an ad on our local craigslist in the garage sale section and try to attract a buyer who will take the whole lot.  There's lots of great, perfectly usable stuff: Christmas ornaments, baskets, dishes, teddy bears, Longaberger basket liners, music CDs, coffee mugs, fishing equipment - you name it.  Surely someone who loves to hold yard sales would be happy to take the junk off my hands for resale.  I'm just sick of looking at it - and it is sort of depressing - the final clean-up from our marriage.  And here I am, doing all the clean-up.  Men really are colossal butts.

Making progress...

on the client Christmas cards.  On the left - ready to go.  On the right - well, waiting for finished cards - which are on the last step.  They will be done today!  And I finally sold that danged violin!

It's a small world...

and it gets smaller all the time.  I just met (and did a tax return amendment for) Stephen King's housekeeper.  And she says he's really, really nice.  And so I had something exciting to write on my blog for an otherwise unevently Saturday at the office.  And now I really can't wait to read his new book!

Never shoulda...

put the Hershey kisses in the candy jar.

I'm just sayin'.

Aaron Neville and I...

are still cutting green and red paper for Christmas cards and singing soulful holiday duets.  I am sure the neighbors next door are loving it.  Ha!  The CD is called Aaron Neville's Soulful Christmas - and we are currently bopping to Oh, What a Night.  Not too loudly.  Well, not very.  My favorite is Louisiana Christmas Day.  Tim, of course, always hated this music - his favorite Christmas CD was, and I am not kidding, Now It is Christmas Again by Garrison Keillor and the gang from Prairie Home Companion.  The tune he would always sing along with was The Sons of Knute Christmas Dance and Dinner.  Very strange.  And yes, I know all the words, too.  Not that I could ever get him to listen to Prairie Home Companion on NPR, but he was completely enamored of the Christmas CD.  Go figure.

Today, since it is Thankful Thursday (thank you for the theme, Yoli, from Apron Senorita), I am thankful for my friend and client, Cari.  And for her little restaurant just four doors down.  And for hot dogs with mustard and onions.  There is a distinct advantage to being close by: a fully stocked refrigerator and kitchen that will make you just about anything your little heart desires - and bring it right to you.  She's been pretty busy lately - which is great in this economy - and she has a loyal following of regulars who are hooked on her philly cheese steak sandwiches and great salads.   So what happened to my giving up meat, you might ask?  Well, I have convinced myself that a hot dog, which does not come from any one animal, isn't meat in the classic sense of say, steak or chicken.  And it bears no resemblance at all to any living thing it might have once been.  And they were left over from Monday's chili dog special - so I was helping out by eating the last two hot dog buns.  Yes, yes, justification, I know.  I do regularly eat the salad and when my friend, Heather, and I had dinner there a week or so ago, I had the eggplant parmesan, which was excellent.  Cari is a hard-working, enterprising young woman and I am thankful that she is continuing to thrive while small restaurants are closing all over town.  She refers clients to me quite often and I try to send people her way every time someone asks me for a suggestion on where to have lunch or dinner.  So if you're ever in the area...

And check out the giveaway at Lemonade Makin' Mama's blog.  Too cute!

Too cool!

I was thumbing through the January issue of Family Circle this morning - a gift from the mailman - well, it was in my mail...  And I was amazed to find that the Bauer Pottery Company is still in existence!  Only two small dishes have survived from my grandmother's collection and I have looked longingly at the vintage plates and teacups and teapots on eBay for years.  But now I am thrilled to discover that if I should ever decide that I cannot live without say, a Bauer water pitcher or teapot, I know where I can get one.  They even have flower pots - which I never knew.  I have a small collection of vintage McCoy flower pots that I once dared to display on my living room mantel - for about a day - until I realized the imminent danger they were in from cavorting cats.  I had them on the baker's rack by my front office window, but I noticed the other day how nicely the blue pots would match my bedroom quilt, so they are going home with me.  I snagged this cute photo from the Bauer website - this kitty looks just like my cat, Charley, the grumpy grey boy.

A new revelation...

And no, it's not that there is indeed a place for everything; everything in its place.  Although I have, for the most part, tried to live by that rule.  Nope, it's something completely different.  After I grumped my way through yesterday, I left the office in a huff with my two Netflix DVDs in hand and headed home to the mutts.  I was feeling tired and old and lonely and, all in all, pretty hopeless about everything in general.  As I was driving along, trying to keep from further expressing my pent-up hostility at stupid motorists through the use of my horn and possibly rude hand gestures, I got to thinking about my client and his throroughly improbable sentence with regard to either a) his former daughter-in-law's unscrupulousness or b) his son's athleticism (I still haven't figured it out!) and I started to laugh.  Seriously.  I'm sure people passing me by thought I was nuts, but I was just tickled.  Extremely.  And it was then that I realized this:

I have a happy heart. 

Or a happy soul - or mind, or whatever it is that God has blessed me with that keeps me from letting the events of life or, heaven forbid, depression overtake me.  Maybe I am just not in my right mind, but I can always find something or someone (Lord, forgive me) to laugh at.  I mean, I even laugh at myself.  I am a child of the Reader's Digest generation and I know that laughter is the best medicine.  I am looking forward to the start of a new year and a new beginning.  I plan to laugh my way right through 2010.

Rained out!

No flea market on Saturday - it rained like cats and dogs!  So, all of my stuff from the back room - and the rest of the stuff from my storage unit (finally empty!) is all piled up, waiting for me to finish going through it all.  The mess is the office is going to make me crazy until I get it out or here or put it away or take it home to my apartment.  I about can't stand it already!  Everyone who comes in thinks I'm moving out - and I am just  not thrilled at the prospect of hauling part of this stuff home, because I really have nowhere to put it - or even to a flea market.  Part of me just wants to take all of the stuff I don't want to Goodwill or the Salvation Army and be done with it.  It's that time of year to be charitable!

I've been trying to concentrate on getting some work done this morning, but my eye keeps going to the pile of crap in the middle of the room.  Like a chipped tooth you cannot keep your tongue away from...

Yet another survey...

Only this time, it's Target.  A lovely store that I would actually prefer to win a shopping spree from...  They have such great stuff - I was in there the other night to get a card to re-charge my new cell phone (Lord, I miss my Blackberry, but that's another story) and I looked at all the funky Christmas stuff.  I didn't buy a dang thing except more Paul Newman dog food for my babies.  My friends, Allen and Tom, were looking for boxes or tins for their clients' Christmas treats and Target had a great selection.  I dutifully passed the information along, without buying samples.  Most of their stuff was very bright and glitzy, which isn't me, really - I go for the more country Christmas look.  Although, I admit do like glitter.  I mean, it's all right in its place, but then, what isn't?  Even the Christmas card design I came up with this year is a little glittery - it's opaque pearlescent embossing powder on green.  Of course, I am not finished with them yet, but I'm working on it. 

Sentences you thought you'd never hear...

I'm in a funny mood and you know how some things just strike you as too funny?  Well, one of my older clients was just here telling me his tale of woe and his soon to be divorced son's tale of woe and well, here's a sentence I never expected to hear:

"She got pregnant on purpose; he's very athletic."

I mean, do you even get that?  It's like:

"Hand me that piano."

Or, to quote George Carlin:

"I don't care what you do to the girl, just leave me alone."

Odds and ends...

First, a tale of three bears.  I have had these artist bears by LoriAnn Corelis  for years.  Aren't they cute?  Well, I discovered when I was packing to move that one of the cats had been very naughty on these bears and if you have cats, you know how hard it is to get rid of that smell.  Anyhow, I was faced with the prospect of having to throw them away - Febreze was not working.  So I decided to put them in the washing machine and hope for the best.  And here they are!  None the worse for wear, with all their eyes and paws and buttons and smelling like little bears ought to smell.  There is a lot to be said for handcrafted things!

I'm still rummaging through the stuff from storage, trying to get ready for the flea market (and making some cash!)  this weekend.  I ran across my two crazy Mary Engelbreit dolls and decided they looked pretty good on the bed with my prized Mary Engelbreit embroidered quilt.  Are you sensing a theme here?  I rearranged some pictures on the bedroom wall - adding some, you guessed it, ME prints that I always liked.  The three of them make a neat little vignette (there's a two-dollar word): the top one has a boy giving a girl his heart (Open it! Open it!), the middle one shows a couple looking at one another (I said Yes! Yes!) and the bottom one shows an older couple sitting together (Grow old with me - the best is yet to be).  You can see why I like them, even if we don't all live happily every after.

During all my free time for rumination (there's a three-dollar word) this weekend, which was good and bad, I tried to focus on positive thoughts and how letting go of stuff was good - and I am trying to think of this as an opportunity to unclutter my life.  I looked around and realized that I am surrounded already by my favorite things.  The stuff I'm trying to figure out what to do with is just extra stuff.  Some of the things that really make me happy are very simple:

One of my grandmother's surviving Bauer ringware bowls filled with Scrabble tiles...

Oddball stuff grouped together on the wall and a basket of bears...

The other surviving bowl (which actually has a lid!) that makes a great jewelry keeper...

More bears basking in the fluorescent glow of a tiffany lamp...

More Mary Engelbreit prints and three teddy bear friends.  They are sitting on top of the empty cabinet where I am planning to put the one set of dishes (ME, of course!) I am rescuing from storage.  The rest of the dishes are going to the flea market.  I am sure someone is looking for a set of vintage Hull brown dinnerware - with every serving bowl and plate known to man.  Priced to move - cheap!

You would think...

that for as many WalMart receipt surveys that I have responded to online that I would have won something by now.  No.  Nada.  Zilch.  Not a dang thing.  Zip. Zero.  Bupkes.  And just when I start to think - forget this, I am not wasting any more of my time, I am going to throw this worthless receipt away - the little voice in my head says, well, now - what if you didn't respond this time and this is the lucky winner?  And so I waste another five minutes responding to their survey.  I am a creature of habit.  And not always good habits.  Wasting time on the WalMart surveys is one of the stupid habits I need to break.  But, well, what if...

Paper cutter's elbow!

Okay, I love my Cricut Expression machine, and I used it last year to make my Christmas cards, but it's just more work to use it when you're just cutting squares of paper, so... I've resorted to my trusty Fiskars rotary paper cutter and I've been cutting out the squares for the cards - all weekend long...  As of this moment, I am suffering from what I call paper cutter's elbow.  Stiff shoulder, tired elbow and stiff right hand.  I want to jump head first into a vat of Tylenol!

All right, maybe I didn't cut paper all weekend.  But it sure seemed like it.  I did some meaningful work on Saturday at the office and a client did come in to do his weekly invoices.  The dogs and I watched Quigley Down Under for the umpteenth time - that movie never gets old and neither does Tom Selleck!  I did some writing and then I re-read The Tightwad Gazette looking for money-saving ideas.  Yes, I re-use zip-loc bags but I draw the line at re-using aluminum foil.  You can check out the website here.  On Sunday, we had Big Hug Sunday - that means Mom stays home with Aggie & Monty and we play and snuggle all day.  I know, I know - they probably don't care, but I do.  When I ran out of things to do around the house, we watched Silverado.  I get a kick out of Kevin Kline and Jeff Goldblum trying to be cowboys - but I really enjoy Kevin Costner's stellar performance as an idiot.  I watched both of my Netflix movies (3:10 to Yuma and Journey to the Center of the Earth) on Wednesday and Thursday so I had to resort to movies in my cabinet at home.  Both of those movies were pretty good; I was surprised to learn that 3:10 to Yuma is based on a story by Elmore Leonard!  I am not a big Russell Crowe or Christian Bale fan - and now I want to see the original with Glenn Ford.  Brenda Fraser was his goofy self in Journey to the Center of the Earth - it was entertaining - a great kid movie.  I love him in the Mummy movies - but my favorite is Blast from the Past. - especially when he dances.  Yikes!  Enough movie talk - I'd better get to work!

Black Friday...

I wonder how it got that name?  I, for one, am not shopping today.  At all.  For anything.  Anywhere.  I wouldn't, even if I had some extra money to spend.  The stores have had Christmas stuff out since Halloween.  It's deplorable.  Down with commercialism!  When I came to the office this morning, the Target parking lot was full to overflowing at 10:00 am!  I wonder what these retailers would do if we all decided to make homemade gifts one year?

My phone hasn't rung and no one has come in, but I've had lots of time to work on Christmas cards and catch-up work.  I'm in a better mood and so I've decided not to be so bah-humbug this year.  This isn't the first holiday season I've been alone and I am sure it won't be the last.  So, I'm getting out my decorations on Tuesday - I have to wait until at least December first!  A Merry Christmas will be had by all. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful for another beautiful day!

An amazingly productive day...

For getting a late start, I have had an amazingly productive day so far...  I say, so far, because I have to stop at the store on the way home - and I hate battling the crowd.  I'm just as guilty of waiting until the last minute to get my Thanksgiving stuff, but...  It was raining this morning and I didn't want to get drenched going out to the car, so I putzed around at home for a while.  I toyed with the idea of staying home, but I trudged off to the office, rain or no rain, and I actually got a lot of work done.  And I finally came up with a design I like for my Christmas cards!  I think I kept procrastinating because I didn't really like the stamps I had chosen.  I'd never used them before - so I knew they wouldn't be a repeat - but I just didn't like the whole design.  So, when I was rummaging through my other Christmas stamps, I found one that I haven't used in years - and never for client cards - so I came up with a simple design and I liked it!  I ordered my red card stock today and it will be here on Monday - so this weekend I can work on the embossing part of the card and all of the paper cutting I need to do.  I also found this great (cheap!) source for envelopes online.  Maybe when I have some extra money I'll order some of the cool translucent envelopes.  I sometimes mail my cards in clear envelopes, but the postman looks at me like I'm nuts.

Alas...

My holiday baking is sadly curtailed by the size of my kitchen and the fact that I gave away my KitchenAid stand mixer.  So I am reduced to making pecan bars from a mix and scooping cookie dough from a refrigerated tub.

Oh well, my heart is in the right place, even if I am lacking in counter space and small appliances.  I made some goodies for my friends Cari and Linda.  I have to stop at the store on the way home tomorrow and get some cheese and milk for my holiday mac & cheese feast, so I will probably just buy a pumpkin pie.  Tim's daughter still has my two prized Longaberger pie plates from two years ago - I don't expect I'll ever see them again.  Don't you hate when people don't return your dishes?  I had made two sour cream apple pecan pies for Christmas at their house - did I say two years ago? - and the pie was well received.  Apparently, so were the pie plates.  Don't mind me, I'm just grumpy today.

Here's the apple pie recipe, if you're so inclined:

CRUST:

1 c. all purpose flour
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 c. cold butter, cut in small pieces
3 to 4 tbsp. cold tap water

FILLING:
3/4 c. sour cream
1 lg. egg
1/3 c. granulated sugar
1 tbsp. all purpose flour
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
3 lbs. tart apples (Pippins, Granny Smiths or Greenings) peeled, quartered, cored and cut in 1/4 inch thick slices (10 cups)

CRUMB TOPPING:
1/3 c. all purpose flour
1/3 c. packed light brown sugar
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 c. cold butter, cut into small pieces
1/2 c. (2 oz.) pecan pieces, chopped coarse

To make crust: mix flour and salt in a medium size bowl. Cut in butter with a pastry blender or 2 knives until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Sprinkle water over flour mixture 1 tablespoon at a time, stirring lightly with a fork after each addition to distribute moisture evenly. Press lightly to form a ball. Flatten into a 1 inch thick round. Wrap in plastic; refrigerate about 1 hour until firm enough to roll. Have a 9 inch pie plate ready. Roll out dough; line pie plate.

To make filling: whisk sour cream and egg in a large bowl until blended, whisk in sugar, flour, vanilla, cinnamon and nutmeg; stir in apples. Spread in pie plate, mounding mixture in center.

To make topping: mix flour, sugar and cinnamon in a medium size bowl. Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Stir in walnuts. Sprinkle evenly over filling, then press down lightly. To bake, place oven rack in center of oven; heat to 400 degrees. Bake pie 50 to 60 minutes until topping is dark brown and apples are tender when pierced. (If topping browns too quickly during baking, drape a piece of foil over pie). Cool on wire rack. Serve warm or at room temperature. Makes 8 servings.

Monday surprise...

Isn't it nice to start the week off with a surprise?  I was sitting here feeling down in the dumps and first the mailman came in.  He's always cheerful and even though he didn't bring any envelopes with money in them, I did get a new Current catalog, which is fun to look at, even if I don't order anything.  And then, my clients Cari and Linda from Taste of Philly came in with their 2009 bookkeeping - and this adorable cookie jar!  It's that strange green color that I love - and, it has sugar cookies in it...  It was so nice of them - and it really brightened my day.  And I have eaten practically half of one of the bags of sugar cookies from inside.  Yikes! 

I had good intentions to eat responsibly today: I made fresh mozzarella and tomato salad for lunch and invited my friend Richard to stop by on his way to his afternoon job.  He's busy for a retired guy!  It was good, but I had left out the Bermuda onion because they can be a little overwhelming - but it really needed the onion.  I used Newman's Own oil & vinegar dressing - which was very mild - so it needed more spice.  Next time.  Why the vegetables for lunch, you wonder?  Or maybe not.  Anyhow, Saturday before last after the movies with Tim, we went to my favorite barbecue place in the world for dinner.  They have this great fried dill pickle appetizer and I love it!  Anyhow, their special is to pick two meats and two sides - that's dinner.  Well, they have great fried fish, which I always order, and that night I picked fish and chopped pork barbecue.  I was starving, so I ate the fish first and my fries; the black-eyed peas were still hard, not mushy like they are supposed to be.  Anyhow, when I finally had a bite of the pork, that's when I was suddenly consumed with the realization that I was eating cooked flesh.  I know that sounds ridiculous, but it tasted so weird to me - and normally I like it.  This from the woman who always buys kosher hot dogs!  I am not really a big meat-eater anyway (not like my husband who would subsist solely on meat) and I couldn't eat another bite of this.  I took it home for Aggie & Monty (waste not, want not) and they liked it, but well after being completely grossed out by the barbecue, I have once again given up eating meat.  About fifteen years ago, I gave up eating meat for about three years.  I did eat fish - but nothing with a face.  I guess fish have faces, but I tried not to think about it and it's hard to know a fish personally.  What set me off back then was reading Diet for a New America about the mistreatment of farm animals.  I have never eaten veal - for that very reason - but after reading that book, I couldn't eat chicken or turkey.  Even when I started eating meat again, I couldn't cook a whole chicken or a turkey because it looked like a bird!  I mean, at least beef doesn't look like a cow.  So anyway, I'm back to avoiding meat.  I'm making a big pan of homemade macaroni and cheese for Thanksgiving.  Just think, if the Pilgrims had made mac & cheese for dinner all those years ago, the market for turkeys this time of year would be next to nothing.  Turkey futures would be down, but pasta would be up.

Is it Friday already?

Well, what I was going to do today was tackle my cookbook project, but instead...

I worked on my client birthday card mailing for December.  My first year in business, I would address the birthday cards when I did the tax return, put the date where the stamp goes and stick then in my monthly birthday file.  Then all I had to do was slap a stamp on it and mail it at the appropriate time.  Boring, but effective.  That plan sorta got away from me last tax season - and my helper never bothered to do her cards at all - so my birthday greetings went by the wayside for a few months.  Paperwork was not her forte, as much as I like her.  I hate to say this, but if I want things done my way, I guess I am just going to have to do everything myself.  So - I did my November cards the other day and I have finished December today.  I need to make more cards and then I can do January.  Hopefully, I will be caught up by the time tax season comes along and I can go back to my original system.  And yes, I have successfully put off working on the Christmas cards for one more day.  I have, however, typed up my Christmas mailing list to print on clear address labels; I don't think my hands can take all that addressing by hand again this year.  Old Arthur, as my mother-in-law would say.

I finally watched Get Shorty in its entirety.  It was absolutely hilarious!  I tried to get Tim to watch it once a long time ago and he didn't find the first few minutes humorous at all, so we switched to something else.  As I have probably said before, I never thought that John Travolta would amount to anything after Saturday Night Fever or Urban Cowpie.  I have been pleasantly surprised over the past few years - he cracks me up.  His Chili Palmer (I'm not going to say anything more than I have to, if that) is great - and Dennis Farina makes one terrific bad guy, even if his favorite word begins with F.  Of course, I had to watch Be Cool - just to see what happened next - and to see The Rock play a gay bodyguard.  I think I liked the supporting characters better in the second movie, plus John Travolta dances with Uma Thurman.  The funniest part was seeing The Rock (who wants to be a movie star and asks Chili to get him an audition) all dressed up in a blue polyester suit, standing in front of a mirror with big afro hair, smiling and smacking himself on the ass.  I thought I would die.  And then, if that weren't enough, his boss (played to the hilt by Vince Vaughan - who thinks he is black) makes a video of him singing You Ain't Woman Enough to Take My Man.  I nearly wet my pants.  Some movies really are as funny as the books they are based on.  I hope they paid Elmore Leonard a lot of money.

Busy bee...

birthday cards!  I finally came up with a new design for my client birthday cards - sticking with my bee theme.  The first two years I just used my business logo printed on a card, but I used all of those up (I printed them on my handy-dandy HP color laser printer - which, amazingly, I still haven't had to buy toner cartridges for!) and decided to come up with a new and cuter design.  For fall, I have done the hive and Be Happy on a white vertical card with a lavender background layer (I left my camera home!), but starting with January, I am going back to horizontal so I can run the inside through my other printer for the birthday greeting and add Smith & Associates. Yes, I'm putting off making this year's Christmas cards.  Couldn't you tell?  I have the design in my head, but I have yet to execute a prototype.  I ran across some cards from my first year in business and I'm going to be frugal (um, lazy) and send those to new clients who won't realize they are a repeat.  Sneaky, huh? I guess I'm having flashbacks to last year when I made this complicated card with a holly Cricut cut-out and glitter and well, they were pretty, but a lot of work and I made over three hundred of them - all the same.  It's the OCD thing...  My friend, Jill, who is an excellent cardmaker, makes several different designs every year because she gets bored making the same one over and over.  I've tried, but I can't do it!  There's something wrong with me...

Back to the salt mine!

It sure feels like Monday today...  I guess it could have something to do with laying about the house for two days this week already.  I have work to do, but I just can't seem to get it together today.  Petey, the office cat, was glad to see me.  Well, he meowed anyway.  Tim terrorized him a bit on Saturday after the movies.  I wanted help putting FrontLine on Pete to prevent fleas and Tim scared him when he found his hiding spot.  All you could hear was Pete's feet trying to get traction on the wood floor.  He finally scrambled inside the paper cabinet behind my desk and I got him out and held him while Tim put the flea stuff on the back of his neck.  Poor Pete - he's so misunderstood.  I just had lunch (left-over beanie weenies) with my friend, Richard.  He's working on trying to rent out some of his lady-friend's mobile homes for the upcoming winter tourist season.  It is amazing to me what some Yankees will pay for a month or two in a mobile home - just to be in Florida for the winter!

Since it's fall, it's the perfect weather for one-pot dinners.  Here's my recipe for Gourmet Beanie Weenies:

1 12-oz can dark kidney beans
1 12-oz can light kidney beans
1 12-oz can great northern beans
1 12-oz can pinto beans
1 12-oz can chili beans (mildly seasoned)
1 12-oz can garbanzo beans
1 12-oz can black beans (rinsed)
2 12-oz cans diced tomatoes
1 large onion, diced
2 16-oz packages kosher hot dogs, sliced

That looks like a lot now that I write it down!  Anyhow, open all the beans and pour out the excess liquid from everything but the chili beans.  Combine the beans in a large pot with the hot dogs.  Add both cans of diced tomatoes, along with the diced onion.  Now here's the part that's up to you: add chili seasoning, salt and pepper to taste - the way you like it.  Some like it hot, so...  Bring the pot to a boil and then reduce the heat to low and let it simmer for about an hour.  Just before you are ready to serve dinner, add the rinsed black beans and stir.  If you don't rinse them, it makes the beans ugly and well, no one wants to eat grey food.  Yes, I learned the hard way.  And no matter what you do, or how long you cook it, the garbanzo beans are never going to get mushy.  If you really want to go all out, you can add crumbled italian sausage or sliced smoked kielbasa to the mix.  This is guy food - for those of you who still believe that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.  Personally, I think it's through his sternum with an eight-inch stainless steel knife.  I'm just saying.

Reading frenzy...

Isn't is great to have a stack of unread books around when you're sick?  I woke up at about five Monday morning with the most horrendous sinus headache - like someone had stuck an ice-cold poker up my left nostril and scrambled things about a bit.  My teeth even hurt!  I had made dinner for Tim on Sunday night (gourmet beanie weenies and a brief visit so I could do his laundry) and didn't sleep well that night, so I attributed part of the headache to lack of sleep and too much thinking.  But the headache didn't let up; it just kept getting worse, so I decided to stay home from the office and self-medicate with Tylenol and benadryl.  Suffice it to say, I finally got some sleep, but no real sinus relief.  I was no better on Tuesday (add upset stomach and other gastrointestinal delights) so I spent another day snuggled up with the dogs in a reading frenzy with all of the Isabel Dalhousie mysteries by Alexander McCall Smith.  I tell you, they are almost as good as the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series.  He is such an excellent writer - I felt like I'd been transported to Edinburgh.  It was a wonderful diversion from feeling bad and thinking about Tim and that whole situation.  I am almost finished with the last, or should I say latest, book called The Lost Art of Gratitude.  The characters are great and the mysteries aren't murders, so much as mysteries of life to be pondered and solved - or at least resolved.  I wish resolving my own difficulties were as entertaining!

Another pair of sole-mates...

Okay, so I'm really into the sock thing...

Tim is in Tampa this week working on a project for some company that makes reverse osmosis water filtration systems, so he came down on Saturday afternoon and took me to the movies (popcorn, yes!) and dinner (barbecue, during which I was overcome with guilt for eating cooked flesh - but that's another story).  We saw 2012 with love-of-my-life John Cusack, who to my dismay, did not once make that dumbstruck face in the entire movie.  Woody Harrelson played a lunatic, at which he excelled, who had a front row seat when the giant caldera at Yellowstone erupted.  A great movie for disaster lovers!

Sock weather!

It may not seem like a big deal for those of you in northern climates, but sock weather is a treat for me!  As soon as it's cool enough, I am digging in my sock drawer for just the right, um, pair.  As you can see, I am a big fan of mismatched socks, which you can find here.  Aggie and Monty got me some - which come in sets of three - a couple of years ago for my birthday (they are great shoppers!) with scotty dogs on them in shades of this pukey green color that I like so much.  My collection has grown a bit since then, as you can see.  I have also been known to wear two different color socks who have lost their sole-mates.  I mean, why waste a perfectly good sock? 

Stinker alert!

I don't know what I was thinking when I put this movie on my Netflix queue.  It was an interminable two hours and thirty-nine minutes long.  And I mean long.  And depressing.  Did I mention that it was long?  And it didn't even have Kevin Costner in it, mindlessly dancing with wolves.  I much prefer Brad Pitt in a movie where he invokes his inner half-wit (like Burn After Reading) than what always amount to his feeble attempts at dramatic brilliance in a wooden role written for, say, Keanu Reeves.  Sam Shepard had about five lines and I think Mary-Louise Parker had two - and some screaming.  I'm sitting there trying not to doze off, waiting for the coward Robert Ford to actually assassinate Jesse James when I realize that his whole problem is that he has some sort of unrequited hero/idol worship secret love thing for Jesse.  Too weird for a western - not enough shooting and bank robbing.  I mean, was Jesse James retired or something?  If someone near and dear to you suggests this movie for your Friday night flick, feign the flu or run screaming from the room.  You'll thank me later.

I just love...

tangerines. They make me think of my grandmother. When we lived on the farm, we had apples out the wazoo - and as much as I love apples, to this day I cannot eat a McIntosh apple - too soft, too sour and too grainy. I can't even make a pie with them. As the holidays approached, knowing we were sick of eating, picking or even seeing apples, Grandma would buy oranges and tangerines, and I was completely smitten with those small, sweet, easy to peel orbs of orange delight. I didn't even care about the seeds. When she moved to Florida (and we followed several year later), she had a tangerine tree in her yard and I would eat them until I got the hives (I did the same thing during strawberry-picking season in Plant City!). My lips would puff up like I'd been stung by a swarm of citrus-crazed bees! No warning about too much fruit was ever heeded - I was in tangerine heaven. I have since discovered clementines - all of the joy with none of the seeds - but I still enjoy a good tangerine or two or three... And the bee-stung lip look is really in these days!

It's a holiday...

and my phone hasn't rung once. I don't even know why I came into the office today - other than the stack of monthly bookkeeping I have to do for three clients. Oh well, today I am Scarlett O'Hara and tomorrow is another day. I'm off to the Publix Supermarket! This is the last day of this week's ad and they have Duke's Mayonnaise on sale - buy one, get one free. Also, Hunt's Tomatoes, Peter Pan peanut butter, Barilla pasta and Nestle Toll House Cookie Dough. I am there! I should probably buy Petey some cat food, too.

Now I understand...

my family's movie rating system... It's like this: I have an aunt who once lived in California and is an expert on all things Hollywood. She is definitely the one to have on your team when playing the silver screen edition of Trivial Pursuit. A serious movie buff, she can tell you the stars, major plot points and even the director of most movies from about 1939 on. For one reason or another, however, she judges every movie she has seen since 1969 by what she considers the pinnacle of Hollywood cinematic perfection: Midnight Cowboy. I had never seen it, although I once read a humorous essay by Southern writer Bailey White in which her own mother, oddly enough, compared every movie she saw with, you guessed it, Midnight Cowboy. Figuring there had to be something redeeming about that movie, I decided to finally watch it, albeit thirty years late. Apparently in 1969, it was rated X! Yikes! Well, let me tell you, right now it would barely get a PG-13. I could have done without the psychedelic drug references, but I guess that sort of thing was de rigueur in that era. (Hey, did I use that right?) Anyhow, hayseed Jon Voight leaves the sticks for the big city hoping to strike it rich as a man-whore (thank you for that word, Adam Sandler), which he believes to be his one true calling. He meets Dustin Hoffman (who surprisingly did not win an Oscar for his incredible performance), loses all his money, fails to succeed in his chosen profession and ends up taking care of his new-found friend who sadly dies on the bus to Florida. If you could cut out all the gratuitous sex and drug scenes, it is actually an excellent movie about the unlikely friendship between two hapless guys, broke and trying to survive on the streets of New York.

So while I was on my old movie binge, I also decided to watch Easy Rider (which I had never watched in its entirety) - mainly because everyone said how great Jack Nicholson was in the film. Well, it's true, Jack was great. But then, Jack is great in every movie he does. His young self looks like a cross between Dennis Quaid and Tom Cruise - and he is, to my astonishment, quite good-looking. I first discovered Jack as Randle McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, where he had perfected that lobotomized wandering-eye look, which detracted considerably from his overall appearance. At any rate, Peter Fonda was his usual beautiful, laid-back man-of-few-words self and Dennis Hooper was a colossal asshat. And, as far as movies go, to quote my aunt and Bailey White's mother, "It was okay, but it was no Midnight Cowboy."

I don't know if it's just anticipation of the holiday season...

but I pulled out my dog-eared copy of Jean Shepherd's In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash this weekend and laughed like crazy at the story upon which the movie A Christmas Story is based. No matter how many times I read it, it's still hilarious. Actually, if you've never had the opportunity to read his work, you should run to the bookstore or the library. His first book is a visit home where he meets a grown-up Flick at the old hometown bar and they reminisce together about events from their childhood. I love the saga of the Bumpus Hounds (actually, Delbert Bumpus and the entire Bumpus clan!) and the leg lamp story (It's a major award!) is great - and I have actually considered buying Tim a giant leg lamp over the years. His second book, which I personally like even better, is called Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden Memories. It's a wonderful collection of stories about the hazards of growing up: vacations, high school crushes, playground bullies - you name it. While I love the title story, the very best one in the book is called Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss (where does he come up with this stuff?); it took me back to every summer family vacation I spent stuffed in the back seat of a sweltering car with my projectile-vomiting sister. His stories also lend themselves well to being read aloud - so keep that in mind for the holiday season - no one is ever too old to listen to a story!

Isn't this too cute?

I found this adorable Debbie Mumm desktop background (and lots more!) here. I like her artwork almost as much as Mary Engelbreit. I said, almost. I love the orange cat! I was actually looking for a country Christmas background, but there aren't any. Maybe soon!

I've been sitting at my craft desk all morning messing around with half-finished cards and I've got this nice little batch ready to put in my window display - for sale! I'm going to make a Busy Bee Cards sign with my Cricut in a little while and put it in the window. If and when I make some money (hopefully before tax season), I'm going to revise my window lettering, add my logo and devote one section of window to Busy Bee Cards & Crafts. I don't know if I already wrote about that or not - I'm losing my mind these days. I hate when I repeat myself!

I finally got all of the seasonal decorations junk that I got out of storage sorted and put away - and what I'm taking to the flea market next month is all together in one place. I'm going back to storage this afternoon (it's finally cool outside!) and get some more. My client, Jonathan, is buying my old washer and dryer, so he's going to help put some stuff in the back of my SUV to bring back to the office. I am determined to finish the "empty the storage unit" project by the first of December! I will get this mess re-organized; I will have an orderly life again!

One of those days...

I was feeling blue and trying to decide what to do this morning when a good friend called me and instantly cheered me up. She and I had a brief discussion about our respective dysfunctional families and I immediately thought of this great Mary Engelbreit illustration. My goal for the day - the week - the month!

Kevin and more decorations...

to get off the shelf in the back room - that's why I love this time of year! The pumpkins do double-duty for two holidays - and just when I'm tired of them, it's time for Christmas! This is my friend Long's son, Kevin, last year at about this time. He was in kindergarten and driving his teacher absolutely bonkers! As you might imagine, English is not his first language and he was having some trouble adjusting - but it's amazing what a difference a year makes. He is now doing great in school and only driving his parents crazy. He has more energy than about three kids and that brain is always going. Kevin used to come and visit me after school for a little while every day (before he became consumed by his GameBoy) - and his chatter drove my husband nuts. I said, "Honey, that kid talks from the time he wakes up in the morning until he goes to sleep at night. I guess I can give his poor parents a break for an hour every day." A couple of weeks ago, Kevin had a mishap at home. His dad had warned him not to play with his basketball inside (they live in a small apartment), but while his mom was sewing, Kevin decided to go for a shot from the foul line or something and his basketball crashed into the 55-gallon fish tank - glass and water went everywhere! A terrified Kevin locked himself in his bedroom and wouldn't come out. Fortunately, he wasn't hurt, but he hid out the whole time his mom and dad cleaned up the mess and rescued the fish. They said he didn't speak all evening and the next morning, he got up and got dressed and went and stood by the door until it was time to go to school. Long said they lectured him about not obeying the rules and how seriously he could have been injured. Kevin was appropriately contrite and apologized. Well, that lasted about two days. On the third day, Kevin came home from school and announced to his dad that he had been thinking. If his father had bought a better fish tank stand, instead of building one himself, Kevin reasoned, it wouldn't have fallen over when the basketball hit the tank. I asked Long how he kept a straight face when Kevin told him this; he said it was hard, but he and Thao got a good laugh out of it later when Kevin was asleep. That is one funny kid.

One mean snake...

Yikes! I was walking down the sidewalk from my SUV to the apartment yesterday afternoon and I heard this rattling sound on my left. I looked over and there was one mean snake coiled up to strike, rattling his tail in the mulch. I almost jumped out of my skin (and nearly wet my pants!) - I looked him over for markings and checked his tail for rattles - but he was just an ordinary black snake. I must have startled him - but I kept going as fast as I could, considering my hands were full of handbag, ginger ale and my cane - which I was considering using as a weapon if he had, in that evil lurking snake-like way, decided to follow me. You know how strange scenarios start running through your head - in slow motion - I could smack him with the cane and he could slither right up to my hand - or I could try and fling him away with the end of it and he'd hang on and drop off on my head - or wait, wait - I could miss him completely and he would fly through the air as I imagine all snakes can and sink his fangs into my knee... Fortunately, I went one way and he went the other, but I was still seriously freaked out. Which is ridiculously irrational coming from the person who as a teenager once rescued an inert black snake from the middle of the road (he had apparently been stunned by a car) and put it in the bathtub for my father to deal with the following morning. I don't know what I was thinking then, but there was the added bonus of scaring the living daylights out of my mother, so I guess that's probably why I shoved Mr. Black Snake into a box and brought him home. In my old age, however, I have given up my snake rescue ways - now I just want to be wherever snakes are not.

An affair to remember...

or don't I wish... I was sick all weekend - I don't know if it was the flu or just a miserable sinus problem, but I didn't leave the apartment all day Saturday or Sunday. The dogs and I ended up having a western film festival: we watched The Shadow Riders, The Long Riders, Quigley Down Under, Conagher, Monte Walsh, Silverado - well, you get the picture. And I had this epiphany - I've been in love with Tom Selleck for almost thirty years! If only our paths had crossed... I always liked Magnum, PI but I think he makes an even better cowboy. And a movie with him and Sam Elliott as cowboys is twice as good! Anyway, there's nothing like Tom Selleck (and his gun and his horse) in all his technicolor glory to cheer you up when you're feelin' poorly!