The seven-knock guy was back again last night, knocking on Miss Pink Dog's door, although he limited his knocking to five cycles of seven this time. The girl of his dreams must have been out with the six-knock guy or the eight-knock guy because this time he gave up - after only 35 knocks - and then he stood on the sidewalk outside my lanai to loudly share his misery with someone much more patient and understanding than me via cell phone. But he's just so incredibly articulate (ha!) that I had to share how the side of the conversation I heard went:
I've left out all the F-words...
"I can't believe this. She's not home again."
Silence.
"Yes, I've talked to her. We've been texting like crazy and then she won't return my calls."
Pause.
"You know what makes me mad? I mean, you know what makes me really mad? What makes me mad is this - wait, wait, wait - you know what really makes me mad..."
Foot tapping and pacing back and forth.
"There's only a three year age difference - I'm 27. You'd expect this from a teenager."
Pause.
"Well, she friended me on MySpace and then deleted me. Then she calls me and tells me she deleted me by accident. You have to confirm when you delete - she did it on purpose."
Another silence. He continues to hold forth about the MySpace incident for some time - I got bored and went to the bathroom.
When I came back, he was relating a recent conversation he'd apparently had with Miss PD:
"So I told her, like, blah blah blah, you know."
Pause.
"Then she goes on like blah blah blah blah and I was like whatever."
Long silence.
He actually said
blah blah blah - those precise words - maybe the person on the other end of his cell phone has a blah translator or something - or blah blah blah is new slang for something. I only know yadda yadda yadda, so I was at a loss as to what their conversation was really about.
He finally just walked up the sidewalk, still talking on his phone. Maybe he was hoping Miss PD would sneak downstairs to see if the coast was clear. When I move, I don't know if I'm going to miss finding out how this ends or not. Stay tuned.